Basically asking three questions:
1. Realistically, with kids and worklife to deal with, how much sex can couples have in a day on the average? What’s the most number of times you’ve had sex in a day with your spouse?
2. Does the volume of sex increase as we grow older? Does sex get better or does it **always** go downhill as you age?
3. For older marriages, did you/your parther pick up any new sexual habits that improved your sex life after struggling with bedroom issues for so long OR are we stuck with the same sexual habits (good or bad) for life? Basically asking if dead bedrooms ever come back to life.
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Ours ebbs and flows. Sometimes we’re like rabbits, but sometimes we go months without. The number of times in a day thing is irrelevant to me. Intensity and connection is what matters.
And yes, we learned new tricks and new kinks later. A lot of folks experience a second “adventurous adolescence” once the kids move out. You hear about a lot of retirees swinging and in the kink scene.
Um it’s one for me. We have like four kids and a busy life.
Seniors here. I still have the desire but my wife not so much, but she has had 3 back surgeries in last 3 years. We might go 1-2 times a week to once a month. We added a vibrator but pretty much the missionary position for us.
Once or twice a week for us, we are in our late fifties. We are non-sexually intimate more now than when we were younger with kids in the house and stuff. The reality is that both of you are happy and satisfied. People tend to have more physical issue as we age, it is just a part of aging. My wife has RA, so that puts some limitations on physicality and on libido. It’s just life though. I married her, not her vagina.
> Realistically, with kids and worklife to deal with, how much sex can couples have in a day on the average? What’s the most number of times you’ve had sex in a day with your spouse?
I think 3 rounds in a day is our record, maybe 4. It definitely wouldn’t be sustainable to go 3 rounds every day though, lol. We have sex once most days, sometimes twice on our days off. Of course there are days where we’re too busy, sick, not in the mood or whatever and that’s no big deal.
> Does the volume of sex increase as we grow older? Does sex get better or does it always go downhill as you age?
For us, sex has been getting better and better over time. We’ve been married for 11 years and the past few years have been amazing.
> For older marriages, did you/your partner pick up any new sexual habits that improved your sex life after struggling with bedroom issues for so long OR are we stuck with the same sexual habits (good or bad) for life? Basically asking if dead bedrooms ever come back to life.
Improvement is definitely possible! There was a time earlier in our relationship that we were in a bad sexual slump and I was worried it was all downhill from there. But we communicated about it and prioritized building a better sex life together, and now things are great. Good habits I can think of would be making sure to make time for each other, not being afraid to ask for what you want in bed, listening when they tell you what they want and giving it your best shot if possible, and exploring fantasies and kinks together.
Most people don’t have sex every day in a long term relationship.
We have sex every other day, we’re child free. It’s always been this way for the past 3 years.
My husband and I have been known to do a morning and then evening session. Different holes. It’s uncommon though – usually reserved for vacation.
We’re in our 40s with two kids and manage do it about every day, usually the morning when the kids are still asleep. Twice a day a few days a week bc sometimes we need sex before sleep too. Being intimate is really important to us so we always get it in 🤣
We’ve always had a healthy sex life but definitely explore more with toys and clothes and such with age.
In our 40’s. Sometimes 2-3 times a day. Pretty much at least every second day. We have teens.
Why are you asking these questions?
I’m in the minority here that only sees the downside. 17 years, early 40’s, by definition sexless for most of it. Went downhill right after marriage, just as I always used to hear it would. When it happens, she enjoys it…a lot…but just doesn’t think about it like I do. So in my case, no, the dead bedroom never came back to life, and I’ve accepted that it never will.
It has definitely increased as we’ve gotten older. It’s gotten better too.
Mid 60’s. Usually once or twice a week. We joke were going to give each other a heart attacks from orgasms. We’ve introduced some toys. But are intimacy is very intense these days
1- late 20s, 1 toddler, twice a day, both at night fairly close together in time. But that’s very rare now. I can’t remember the last time we went 3 in a day. Definitely before the little one was born. More than 3? Our honeymoon.
2- can’t say we’re having more now than we were at first. I think it’s better, but we’re still fairly young
3- too young to objectively answer this
I think it would be unrealistic to say most married couples are having it daily, let alone more than once a night on a regular basis. I will say at least IMO quality>quantity
My marriage went from every night before kids to once every 2 months. In my experience sex is frequent before kids, then dwindles when they are at home.
For context I am in my 40’s, married, two kids (11 & 1); my husband and I have sex every day, usually twice.
There are still “ebbs and flows” just like any marriage but for us the ebb and flow is the difference between 47 times a month (October last year) and 71 times a month (March last year). We never have “dry” spells, but our frequency does fluctuate.
We’ve had sex 5 times in a day before but it’s very, very rare. We have “trifectas” once or twice a week. But our average is twice a day.
Our sex life certainly hasn’t gone “downhill”.
We’ve always had a high frequency so I can’t speak to your dead bedrooms question, but we’re very adventurous and experimental. Always have been. The key is communication.
The most my wife and I have done it in one day is 5. However that was before our youngest was born. Now, realistically we can have sex 1-2 times a day
My husband is mid 60’s and I am mid 50’s. Our sex lives have gone to once or twice a week now. I have fibromyalgia and he is dealing with issues in his sixties now. We spend time in other ways though sharing closeness. Dinners out, long talks at night, sharing movies and cooking together. But, now that our kids are grown, I’d say once or twice a week. When our kids were still at home, it was more like once a week due to schedules with them and so on and our jobs.
“Getting back with an ex is like reheating McDonalds fries. It’s never the same and it’s always disappointing.”
When our son moved out we had a good 3-4 days where we had sex 3-4 times a day, then we settled back into our every other day routine that we’ve been doing for the past 20+ years (sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less, but generally seems to work out to every other day)
As long as the man can have it up if we’re being honest
Comparison is the thief of joy. That’s your entire problem. Develop the connection between you and your spouse and meet each other’s sexual needs. No comparison necessary. Nothing good comes from it. Achieve your individual happiness.
Per day? I mean our rule is no more than 4x in a single day, but it’s not like you can have anything else to do that day. I don’t think most people measure sex frequency per day though, usually per week or month.
We are at the more adventurous end kids all moved out so now we have the house to ourselves!
Alot of you have the time. Kids dont pay attention like that nor require alot of attention like that
Been together 24 yrs almost…in the beginning no kids, working full-time, it was everyday sometimes twice until the babies came cause momma was tired lol. 7 yrs in 1st baby came and it changed to EOD, 11 yrs in 2nd baby EOOD(every 2 days). Our kids still live with us at this point. My husband has a high sex drive so we schedule to accommodate that need and it really doesn’t bother me because he is hot and the sex is good. He also does alot of household chores for that scheduled booty call Lol
Pre kids 3 the magic number, since the second kid it’s been Dead over 5 years now.