I (31m) attended a party with a woman (30f) I’m interested this weekend. Things went south, and I’m kind of at a loss

First off, let me provide some context before I get into the actual story here. Back in August, I ended a relationship with my girlfriend of four years due to us not being on the same page about kids (I have one from a previous relationship and don’t want any more). About a month later, I made the decision to get sober, which was unrelated to the break up but very relevant to this story. I’m just over 4 months sober now and have no intention of breaking that any time soon. I didn’t feel like I had a problem with substances (alcohol/weed) but I had/have been dealing with depression and mental health struggles in general, so I decided to give these things up in the hope that it would help. I wouldn’t say it’s cured me, but it has definitely helped.

Ok so fast forward to about three weeks ago. I matched with this girl, we’ll call her Kristen, on Bumble. I have it on my profile that I’m sober, and I was very open with her about this from the day we started talking. It was never an issue. For our first date, we met at a coffee shop on a Sunday morning. For our second and third dates, we went out to dinner. In both instances, she had a glass of wine at dinner (which I have no issue with at all) while I just drank water.

This past Saturday, one of her good friends was having a birthday party at her house and Kristen asked me to go. Sure, sounds great. I was with my son all day, so we had to go separately and she was there well before I was. I probably got there about an hour and a half after her. When I arrived, everyone was drinking, which I knew would be the case. Kristen introduced me to everybody, and immediately afterwards, I was asked to do a shot with the group. I said no thanks, I don’t drink anymore, and was immediately met with “Oh come on, do one shot with the group!!!” I once again politely declined, but then Kristen said, “Come on, just one shot!” Honestly I couldn’t believe she said that, she knows I no longer drink and why I no longer drink, but I just chalked it up to her being a little drunk already and getting swept up in the moment with her friends.

A little bit later in the night, I’m sitting on the couch talking to one of her friends’ husbands, and she comes and sits on my lap. She’s pretty drunk at this point. When the husband gets up, she starts to make out with me, and asks me to spend the night with her so that we can “have some fun.” I tell her I’m happy to drive her home and spend the night, but I don’t want to have sex with her while she’s drunk and I’m sober. Especially our first time. She immediately gets offended and says “If you’re not going to have sex with me, there’s no reason for you to spend the night in my bed,” and walks away. She won’t look at me, won’t talk to me, etc. That reaction seemed a bit…dramatic to me, but whatever, she’s drunk. When I leave the party about an hour later, I offer to drive her home. She declines. By this point, I’m very confused, but again, she’s pretty drunk so I figure we will talk this out in the morning after she’s sobered up.

When I called her Sunday morning, I figured we would get on the same page and everything would be fine. Instead, she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore. She basically said “I threw myself at you last night, and you turned me down. That doesn’t feel great.” I’ve been very open with her from day one about not drinking. Up until this point it was no problem.

I purposely waited a few days to post this because I just can’t understand what happened. Am I insane?? I really liked this girl, and I can’t seem to get her to understand my perspective of a sober man not wanting to have sex with a drunk woman. Part of me thinks that this relationship would not have worked anyways after seeing how much she enjoys drinking with her friends (alcohol is clearly a big part of their friend group), but again, our first three dates had been great. I guess there’s really not much of a question in this post, I’m just curious if anyone else who is sober has had this experience. I was (and am) definitely a bit thrown off by what happened.