I’ve been working at my current job for about a year. When I first started working there I quickly learned an acquaintance I have known for a few years was one of the managers. We met in 2018 at a community event/ party. I vibed with him really well and loved his down to earth and gentle personality.
Since then we’d keep in contact briefly through text once in a while. One day I tried reaching out to him by calling him just to check in and say hi (how friends are made I assume) and I never got a call back. I also left him a voicemail.
I was a little upset about it but proceeded to move on. Through my year of working with him I felt he treated me as more of a subordinate than a younger brother (He’s 10 years older than me )by making some ridiculous commands and requests. (We are also both a minority from Ghana) Because of this I felt a little bit of underlying resentments towards him. Although we occasionally have a light hearted chuckle and conversation here and there it seems fake and forced. I feel we could have been like family but he doesn’t feel I’m on his level (especially agewise)
My concern is often times I come to work and don’t say hi to him but eventually have to converse with him because of work related things. I have a feeling it hurts his feelings, especially because a few months ago he expressed what seemed to be his unhappiness to the fact that I don’t ever say hello to him and to be honest it was kind of intentional because I wasn’t really feeling him.
I feel I should let go of my grieviances with him but often times he may do something that irritates and disappoints me and then I’m back to square one about how I feel about him. I’m honestly a relatively friendly person and often am quick to say hi to a friend, But since I have some disappointment and resentment towards him I just don’t. I don’t know if I’m missing out on a potential friendship by not being friendly enough but as the older person I feel the ball is more in his court. What do you guys think?
3 comments
Sometimes when a person is too nice, they will take advantage of you. It seems you don’t keep a grudge, but be careful around people like this guy. Keep a distance I would say but stay friendly.
Its good to be nice but never make friends with your boss ever. Definitely the worst thing one can do because that boss could take advantage of you asking unreasonable favors cause your buddies and i think you know where this is going. Keep the work relationship as it is i believe it would be for your own good. I made the mistake of being friends with all my managers at my past place of employment and that got me nothing but more work 💀💀💀
I think it’s always a good idea to remain professional and try to be friendly. Try not to let the resentments creep up and resolve them internally if you can. I’m sure he has his own internal battles like we all do. But small gestures of kindness can go a long way. Just my opinion.