Stuck on someone

I’m (18m) a senior in high school, so this wont be the normal 20-30 year olds this subreddit normally sees.

As previously mentioned, im a senior in high school and my gf is junior (16f) (her name will be kylie). she and i have been dating for a what will be a year and six months at the end of february. our relationship isnt perfect. but its not for reasons that we can control. my gf struggles mentally (bipolar depression) and it takes a lot of energy and sometimes it makes us mad at each other. we got really bad in october and broke up twice, but we are back together and stronger ever it feels like. and im a guy that (likes sounds bad) is comforted by going through that, knowing that the two of you worked together because you care about the relationship. it builds a lot of trust. which i suck at trust, i dont trust anyone. and its all because of one person.

i met this girl in 8th grade (she is currently the same age as my gf. a class below me, im also naming her crystal). and she and i hit it off immediately. i mean texting all of the time, taking anytime we could in school to talk to each other and see each other. and me being in 8th grade i felt like i was on top of the world when i would talk to her. whenever someone asked about us and me going to high school the next year we kinda just said so and moved on. i felt comfortable with it because she and i both agreed to make it work. well i eventually asked up the courage to ask her to be my gf in may (we started texting each other in april/march). and i felt like i was higher than being on top of the world. like the saying “the sky is the limit” felt stupid to me. well 6 days into that feeling she broke up with me because i was going to high school.

we continued to text each other. but from then on we basically have not said a word to each other in person since. but we talked and texted all through that summer. and she would talk about wanting me back, but i had just started marching band and i whole group of girls that liked me. and in that group i started dating one. that relationship only lasted a few months but didnt stop crystal and i from texting. we definitely slowed down but we still texted. and i ended up breakng off that relationship for crystal. and in january of 2020 (not even a year after meeting her) i was about to ask her out. then she basically ghosted me. then COVID hit, and throughout covid she and i would text, but in about july i was realizing that i need to break the habbit of talking to her. but she did that for me and started making our conversations very bland and boring. she eventually got a new boyfriend and at this point she was in high school with me. and we didnt text, not single word was exchanged. expect for christmas. she randomly texted me merry christmas and i lost it. i tried not to freak out and i played it cool like she meant nothing to me the past year. other the christmas text, we didnt text at all until i got news that she and her bf broke up. this was about in january of 2021. i immediatly tried comforting her, and we became friends again, but she still had feeling for her old bf, and i made it clear i didnt like it. we had an argument, but about a week later we both apologized and went on for a while. until i texted her in about february. and this time it felt she used to. we were texting 24/7 and i felt so good again, and she broke up with her bf for reasons she wouldnt give me. then one night i had the courage to ft (facetime) her. and we did. and it was really nice, and we were on ft until we feel asleep.

then the next day i asked if we could ft again sometime, i asked after she said that the ft from the day before. and she agreed and said she liked the idea. then her texts started getting stale again. i tried texting her. but on the first day of school of my junior year, she officially stopped texting me. but a little before that, in april, i saw kylie at our spring concert and i thought she looked beautiful. and i started to get a huge crush on her, but i decided not to tell anyone cause last time i told people, i became obsessed with crystal. and in the summer kylie and i slowly became friends. and i really fell for her hard when the first thing she ever asked me was if i was okay because i looked sad. and i felt so cared for and even tho i was sad before i wasnt as soon as she started talking to me. me being me got scared tho and i told her i was okay. she and i started getting closer and at the begging of septemeber of 2021 kylie and i started dating. and i felt so happy, i was so happy to not worry about crystal and i didnt. i didnt care what crystal was doing. i was (still am) dating the most beautiful and caring girl ever. to this day there is nothing i wouldnt do for kylie. i love her so god damn much and i am so grateful for her. her presence just makes me happy. and i can’t believe ive been dating her for almost a year and a half. it felt like it was yesterday we had our first date at burger king. and our first awkward kiss. but what sucks about all of it is that i still think about crystal sometimes. she has never gone away. i still see her and i get mad at myself that i wonder if she still thinks about me.

that was a long story, but it needed background. i definitely glanced over how kylie and i got closer and how much i love her and all of the adventures we have done together. but i am worried about crystal. its been so long since she and i even spoke to each other. what does it mean? is it that crystal was the person i first trusted and cared and probably the first person i loved in a romantical way? i just feel so shitty about the whole thing and im scared to tell kylie.

TL:DR
ive been dating my gf for a year and half, but im still stuck in someone that was my first love. i dont talk to ger anymore but i think about her all of time. is it normal to be think about your first love? should i tell my current gf?