Office Romance?

My job hired a new staff member (out of state). She forward her bio of food and out of office interest. I emailed her suggestions and gave her a local information guide.

Overtime, we talked about our childhood memory/family/friends. I told her I was born out of country, but moved to USA as child and lived in local community and suggested we tour the area. She responded that would be nice.

We continue to talked over weeks and I casually ask if she’s homesick, yet? She responded, No. She talks about her university attendance (east coast) and her first time in Pacific NW.

This summer past, I visited a local tourist destination and returned with State guidebook. We spoke a few days later and she mentioned, “I called my mom to tell her what you gave me.” (Our schedules allow 2/3 days of personal contact – Because she is a dept manager I limit contact with her in presence of other staff).

We have common movie internet so I asked her to join me and friends. Everyone gathered at theater and had a great time. After the movie we talked about education (study abroad), food etc.

Sadly, I didn’t want to pressure her so I didn’t ask for her digits (I was scared – and ended long term relationship).

We all walked to our cars , but I didn’t walk with her (our cars parked in different levels). (I know dumb move – when my wit kicked in I ran to her car, but she had drove off).

The following week I complemented her clothing attire (usually relax dress code) but this occasion she dressed up. She said thanks, and we talked about our movie experience. She liked being able to go out and expressed future willingness.

The following week things turn south. While on a zoom meeting I (DM) her beautiful hair color. Suddenly she responds that’s not an appropriate work communication. I was shocked & replied, okay our conversation will be strictly work related.

This interaction elevated my relationship anxiety and I try to limit contact. One day I called the elevator and when the door opens she’s inside. I tell her go w/o me, and she says we’re going to the same floor so get in. Awkward silence…then she asks what I was holding. I tell her.

I tried to impress her that most likely pushed her away, I know. Yet, I use a uncommon closing signature that she has begun to use! WTF is going on?

Are we both scared of our past relationships that we sabotage any potential? I want to talk with her about what’s going on, but am worried. There are days when she’s outgoing and others reserved.

One day she’s wrapped in a shawl (building cold) so I bought her a cup of hot tea. She accepted tea and said thanks. I’m puzzled cuz the cup remained on her desktop for days afterward. (She’s an extremely tidy individual and seldom leaves anything unkept).

I’ve reached out to my counselor to discuss. They suggested we meet with a third party to provide clarification. However, I’m not secure with this suggestion.

I welcome any suggestions or guidance on how to address the situation with her.