I’m a 20 yr old male, and I haven’t had sex, since I was 16. I not only miss the obvious things, like the fact that it feels good, and the satisfaction of kinks, and things like that, but it’s my main love language. Not that I can’t love, but I can’t “feel” love, unless I “feel” it. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but it does to me. So… I feel unloved.
Problem is, is that I don’t know if I really CAN cope with it. Do I cope with it, or do I satisfy it? Finding someone for casual sex, and satisfying it makes me feel like I’ll fall in love with someone who doesn’t want more than casual sex.
There’s also the whole cancer thing. Besides from the fact that finding casual sex is hard to begin with, I also have the extra fact that I have an ileostomy, and a gastrointestinal tube, right now, and on top of that, I’ll be receiving cancer treatments. I also don’t understand why I am so hypersexual. Sorry if this is all rambling. I get like this, sometimes.
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I have had an ileostomy for about 25 years and am in my 40s right now. I wish the “current me” could go back in time to talk to the “younger me”. That can’t happen, so I’ll give the advice to you. I didn’t date anyone during the early years due to body image fears. This changed as I got older though. I will admit that casual sex is kind of an issue – but casual sex doesn’t really sound that satisfying to me. What I will tell you though is that there are plenty of women out there that really won’t care how you look. I know because this has been my experience. Maybe women are more sympathetic than men, but they generally really don’t care. An ileostomy shouldn’t hold you back from forming quality relationships. I would not bring it up on the 1st date, but maybe the 4th (Or earlier if things are going well)?