Me and my Bf have known each other for about 6 months but have only officially been together for 1 month. Me and him had just gotten to my apartment after a long road trip. A little TMI but we went to get an abortion and i bled through my pants so I immediately went upstairs to clean up. While I was stuck cleaning up in the bathroom I had asked my bf to get me a new pair of underwear from my drawer which I immediately regretted because I remembered I still had my ex’s boxers in there. Me and my Ex have been broken up for well over 8 months. I know I should’ve thrown them away a long time ago but I have a hard time letting go of memories but this doesn’t mean I still love him or want to be with him. My bf was furious and told me to throw them away so I did. He ignored all of my texts & phone calls for 3 days until yesterday. I asked him to come over so we can resolve things but instead he told me he just doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He says that there’s too many bad experiences in our relationship in such little time that we’ve known each. I love him so so much and I don’t want to break up but I feel like he’s acting on impulse because he’s angry. I don’t know if I should keep trying or just let it go??
TLDR: My bf found my ex’s boxers in my drawer. He ignored my texts & phone calls for 3 days. When I finally got him to come over he said he wants to break up. I don’t want to break up and I don’t understand the reasoning. I don’t know what to do.
13 comments
He’s done, leave him alone.
Oooo yep. That’s a shit ton of trauma for you both in a tiny time window. I’d ask what the other bad experiences were, but I don’t believe it will matter. Take some space, but this sounds done.
Why the hell that you would keep your ex’s underpants for memories? Shit, frame a pic of him by your bedside so your future boyfriends to see. Holy no.
>He says that there’s too many bad experiences in our relationship in such little time that we’ve known each.
Sounds like it.
>I feel like he’s acting on impulse because he’s angry.
No, he outlined some pretty clearly thought out reasoning for why he wants to end things.
>I don’t know if I should keep trying or just let it go??
I’m sorry, it sucks but you should let this one go.
Focus on yourself right now. You just had a procedure that will put your mind and body through a rollercoaster.
Let him be done.
I think you need to find someone who knows how to wear a condom and is adult enough to not freak out over a fucking memento.
Well all that is a bit of drama in a short time. Give him a bit, he may come around. Don’t chase after him, just let him know you are still there.
Your question is: I don’t know if I should keep trying or just let it go??
He broke up with you. To paraphrase Yoda, there is no try there is just moving on because he is now your ex.
Also, get rid of the memento. That is just off putting.
Do the opposite of everything you did in this post.
Wow that is a lot of drama in not much time at all. ouch.
There’s nothing to do now but take care of yourself hon.
It sounds like you need to stop dating. Take a break. You need to focus on your life. Let your past, your memories, your old loves go! Start moving on.
Whenever you feel ready, better be new person.
If there was ever a memento one admits to not being good at letting go of, “my ex’s underwear” is Top Five “For God’s Sake, Not That” material.
Pics in your photo album are one thing. Boxers _in your drawer_ is way beyond the pale. That’s practically still in the inventory rotation, like being ready for him to come over and use them.
You _might_ get him to reconsider if you make an effort to clean out the ex’s stuff thoroughly— now is NOT the time to get sentimental — and maybe you can tell him you had been being lazy and hadn’t gotten round to it.
Seems like this is the unpopular opinion, but he’s in the wrong. You’re bleeding and recovering from an abortion – an exceptionally traumatizing and overwhelming experience for you both. He can be upset about the boxers, but he should have tabled that for a day or two and kept it in perspective relative to the MUCH bigger challenge at hand – the fact that you just terminated your pregnancy together.
Im so sorry about this OP… but after an abortion, finding another man’s underwear in your gfs drawer…. that is a lot..
You should let this one go