I (20f) have feelings for my suitemate (22f). we live in the same dorm but not the same room if that makes sense. I had these feelings at the beginning of the fall semester but dealt with it and everything was good.
when we came back for spring semester, we went out the first weekend to a house show. basically a bunch of people dance in a basement. we were holding on to each other and the rafters and she held onto my butt not my waist which i feel would be the friend way to do that. her hand wasn’t stationary either it squeezed and moved around.
we usually don’t touch each other other than the occasional hug so it really took me by surprise. since that happened we sat next to each other and i push against her knee and she pushed back. and she came to lean against a table beside me and our arms touched.
i know it doesn’t sound like a lot and i’m probably reading into things but that stuff brought all the feelings i had back and then some. i feel like i really know her now. she’s so pretty and funny and sweet and patient. she has an infectious laugh and she’s so artistic. everything about her is amazing and i’d like some advice on what to do.
tl;dr my roommate touched my butt and now my feelings are back and stronger. what should i do?
5 comments
Not act on them focus on someone else. Dating someone you live with in close proximity can get very messy if feelings sour and change
If I were you I would advance on your roommate. Clearly there is a lot of sexual tension between you two and it must be resolved somehow. Don’t listen to those who tell you not to try anything because she is your roommate, it is simply a projection of “don’t shit where you eat” whose sole purpose is to benefit employers to keep the work environment undisturbed to the detriment of employees.
If anything close like that happens again, I’d probably say something like “Goodness, touching me that way…anyone would think you’re hot for me, and I’m not mad about it”.
I’m on the side of “don’t do it”. This is someone you live with. If things end badly, you’re going to really dislike your living situation. It might even hurt to see them move on. You’ll be constantly reminded because they live right there with you.
If you must, go for it. I definitely don’t suggest it though.
Do you know if she is attracted to women? Does she know you are? If not she might have simply been joking around with a close friend when dancing with you. You both hug each other so sitting with knees and arms touching is quite normal for touchy friends.
If you made a move and she turned you down, or you dated and it went badly, could you cope with living in the same house still? If so, make your move. If not wait until you live apart.