Hey friends,
like said in the title, I got ghosted after 4 dates, which all went pretty good. Although I am fine with her decision to quit dating, I am not fine with the way she “communicated” it and it kinda bothers me.
To those who had the same outcome of dating a person, how did you cope with it?
Best regards 🙂
18 comments
Not much you can do about it, other than just move on.
Think of it this way: If she’s rude enough to do that, you dodged a bullet.
People throw the term ghosting around very loosely.
No one is obligated to like you or keep in touch with you.
So there is no reason at all to be offended when somebody finds out that he or she in fact does not like you, during a phase that is specifically meant to do so.
Wtf.
I don’t.
If somebody ghosts me, they’re obviously not the right person for me.
Move along!
“Good dates” in your opinion, but obviously not to her.
When someone ghosts in the dating stage, your best bet is to back away and persue someone else. If they suddently come back around weeks or months later, up to you if you want to give them a second chance. However, if I went that route I’d make them take the initiative to plan dates and do most of the work. That would help weed out someone wanting to use you as a backburner while they keep looking.
There are soooo many reasons why she could have ghosted you.
She just wasn’t into you.
Timing was bad for her.
Other things in her life are more important (work, family, etc)
She was seeing multiple guys and liked the other one better.
She is dealing with her own issues.
Well, you just have to rationalise for yourself that she wasn’t the right fit for you.
Unless you can readily identify anything you did “wrong” over those four dates, I would just try not to stress too much about it and definitely not try to beat myself up about it.
Just let the salt pass and move on when you’re ready.
All the best 🙂
Dating apps have become about finding the next shinier toy to play with. Don’t think too much. Let her go.
Most people say “just accept she’s not for you and move on” but I’ll assume some people are like me and aren’t able to just let things go after putting effort into them.
What I find helpful is to just do an after action report type of thing in my head. Go over our interactions and evaluate how I handled myself. If I see something that I think I handled poorly or could work on I take that as a learning experience for the next time. If I honestly don’t see anything I could’ve done differently or would want to do differently then I go forward confident I did the best I could and this was the best possible outcome.
Ultimately, it’s the same as just moving on but the self reflection helps me in a way that just trying to forget it stoically never would.
Quit dating, them floozies ain’t worth your time and dime
It does suck, whether it’s before a first date, after a first date, after a few dates, whatever. Ghosting after 4 dates definitely is not cool, so maybe it’s good you found out now instead of later who she really is.
Really all you can do is keep looking and staying positive, not everybody will ghost like that.
Realize she just wanted your attention and be thankful she stopped wasting your time
Just accept the fact that they didn’t like me as much as I liked them.
Just remember who she is and one day when you paths cross and she needs you help, you can then reciprocate
Send one last text and then move on. Something like “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in awhile, so I don’t know know what happened. I’ve had a really great time on our dates and would like to see you again if you’re interested. If not, thanks for the dates we went on and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
That way you’re being unambiguous but also not a stalker. If she gets back to you and has a reasonable explanation for her absence you can get back to dating. If she was worried you weren’t into her, then now she knows you were. And if she just up and left you hanging then you gut the cord and can move on.
Some TV shows you like, will get cancelled. Some restaurants you like, will close. And some women you date, will stop communicating.
Closure isn’t worth chasing, or even hoping for.
How did she communicate?
Call the Ghostbusters.
Must not have been that good if she ghosted you.
Yeah it sucks but all you can do is move on