No matter what, it’s like my brain tells me that someone doesn’t really like me or want me even if they are putting in the effort to see me. It’s like I have to logically talk myself out of my negative thinking like “If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have ….”
There’s a guy I’m talking to now and it seems to good to be true. Not to say things are perfect but he’s just so amazing to me and it seems like we both fill a missing piece with each other. I think it’s because of how bad things ended with my last relationships. I’ve been ghosted with someone I was in a relationship with. I’ve also been in two situations where my bf’s women friends waited until I got with them for them to express their love. (Btw, my then-bf’s didn’t leave me for them but they didn’t set good boundaries with the friends.)
I’m afraid my anxiety will mess things up. I’ve talked to him about this anxiety I have and he says he understands and he opened up to me about his mental issues as well. I try to use that as a way to feel less anxious but sometimes it doesn’t work.
3 comments
I know that it sounds cliche, but I recommend therapy. You’ll hopefully be able to get to the root cause(s) of your anxiety and discover how it affects you in your daily life. A man that accepts you for who you are will be patient and understanding. You’re not going to mess up.
You have to remind yourself daily that you are able to be loved and worthy of love. Don’t self sabotage yourself
Oh boy, I relate dear — and I would definitely recommend therapy, of course — however, my two cents, after being in therapy for 7+ years…
I wouldn’t think of this person as “filling a missing piece” within yourself. That’s a lot of pressure, both on yourself and on him! Also, the only thing that will really help quell relationship anxiety is working on your relationship with yourself. It’s so common to be mean to yourself after you go through shitty experiences. Please remind yourself that you’re a human being worthy of love, and it seems like you’re being brave and trying, despite whatever happened in the past. So give yourself some credit where credit is due!
I’ve found that having my own back in these types of relationship anxiety moments is the best medicine. If you find a good/cheap one, a therapist can help you work on that <3