swingerclubs as a virgin?

11 comments

1. Well as a single dude you don’t just walk in and say “I’m here for the sex’ing!” And everyone gets down to it….

2. Interesting, never thought of the first time being in a club full if partners who are taken but willing. Depends on your age and level of maturity, tbh. And assuming you’re taking precautions like they should be to avoid std’s. It will just lack a bit of the one on one intimacy of doing it with someone you are at least familiar with. But to each their own. Just stay safe and be cordial & considerate.

3. If you want to experience it, try it, there are no rules about the level of sexual experience required, and many people just go to watch or be watched.

   But you should be aware of the following:

   * There are different kinds of sex clubs, with different cultures. Swingers’ clubs tend to cater primarily to relatively heteronormative couples (with allowances for female bi-sexuality), and single women. There are also often single men at such clubs, though their presence is more frequently controlled in some way (limit on numbers, much higher pricing).
   * If your goal is to have sex for the first time, this may not be the best environment. Most people who are just starting out with sex tend to be somewhat anxious, and require patience and reassurance. Swingers’ clubs are mostly populated by people who are looking for some level of experience, and not necessarily interested in the emotional work involved in facilitating someone’s first time having sex. That’s not to say you have to be an expert, or that there is only one way to be a swinger, but confidence, willing to put yourself out there, being at ease, and sexual experience are qualities often valued in these spaces. This will be about ten times more pronounced if you are a man (again, due to the heteronormative nature of Swingers’ clubs). There is generally a lot of “competition” for attention between single men in such clubs. Most couples are not looking for men.
   * Have realistic expectations about what happens at Swingers’ clubs – it is not typically an open for all orgy, to which you just have to show up. Imagine a normal club, where people interact and hit on each other, only with the expectation that participants are potentially open to casual, non-monogamous sex. You still have to flirt, you still have to socialize, you still have to catch someone’s liking etc. So, if you’re imagining this to be an “easy” way to show up and immediately have sex, it may not be the case. It’s not very different than dating, just quicker and more goal-oriented. This is true for swingers’ clubs, in my experience, there are of course other types of sexual spaces where interactions are different.

4. [deleted]

5. You know, I think as long as you’re going to a reputable club with adequate hygiene practices, rules concerning consent, maybe a do’s and don’ts talk before entering and you feel extremely comfortable speaking up for what you want or need from sexual partners you’ll be alright

6. Dealing with intimacy wrong in the beginning can have disastrous consequences in future.

   Use the head attached to the neck not the one below.

7. Dont do it, just try to find a quality partner and have sex with her/him.

   Never forget for future partners it’s a redflag if you lose your virginity in a sex club or to a prostitute.

8. If you are using a swingers club as an “easy” way to lose your virginity I would thoroughly recommend against it. People there will have lots of experience and it could be quite confronting/embarrassing if things don’t go the way you wanted it to.

9. I’d recommend using tinder or something like that. Or put yourself out there in a regular environment like a bar or whatever

10. Whatever you do – do it and do it soon. Get out there, go to as many events as possible, different types of events and meet as many people as you can.
    I properly lost my virginity late in life and it was a lot of work to learn how to socialize successfully. Once you come into who you really with sex incorporated your personality should be different… it should have been part of our puberty as teens… but alas

11. Well, this depends.

    -Where I am, single man are usually allowed (though higher prices as mentioned below).

    -Virgin is tough tbh. The women have some expectations.

    -There are some clubs/events where a single male with “i am here to xxx” are very welcome. Yet in the most anglosaxxon countries this seems not to be the case.

    As advice:

    -Find clubs near you, they have a webpage. Look for gangbang or bukkake events. That should normally include a male surplus 🙂

    – Join a swinger site. A real one not a rip-off one. Be honest about you (little experience and so on) and see what happens. Normally this should include seeking date functions.

    – I always see giong to a new club as an try-out. How is the crowd, am I compatible? Open for single males? Everything clean and ok? How am i treated by the staff? Everything there I need for comfort (at least some snacks and a smokers louge)? I dont expect sex for say the first three times…