How do you ”click” w people?

12 comments

1. [removed]

2. Maybe your standards for friendship is higher. Nothing wrong with putting people in the acquaintance box a little longer.

3. Remain somewhat mysterious. I think it’s good to remain neutral in most encounters in order to keep them guessing and want to come back for more. Slowly and steadily over time you will get to know each other better and better. Learn to know when to speak on something / share, and when to remain quiet.

4. Honestly? Alcohol.

   Or if you’re not old enough to drink, you’re probably not old enough to be so guarded about your “true self”.

5. Be real. That means hopes and fears. Strengths and vulnerabilities. People who are merely acquainted are generally trying to only reveal their positives. Not trying to be cool, not trying to be …

6. People often “click” when they discover something in common with each other. The key is to be comfortable enough with revealing things about yourself (your hobbies, interests, beliefs, etc) that you’ll give people an opportunity to discover they have something in common with you to click over. Be authentically you.

   It won’t happen with every person you meet or even most of them. But it will happen with more people than if you just stay at surface level niceties. What you’re doing when you’re being authentically you is increasing the odds of connection with people who will accept you.

   Being authentically you doesn’t have to mean totally baring your soul to a random stranger (which I don’t advise anyway). It can just be little things.

   Anecdote: my boyfriend and I were acquainted with each other for almost a year before we started really talking and then dating. We definitely noticed each other and there was an attraction from the beginning but nothing solid in our interactions. Until one day we were having a casual conversation and both discovered that the other person has the same attitude about big social gatherings (fun for an hour and then it’s time to make an Irish exit). Finding this one little thing we had in common made us click and pretty much from that point forward we were it for each other. It happened because we were both more open in that moment.

7. Use a mouse and key pad

8. Keep in mind you won’t click with everyone. With some people, it’ll feel like work.

   Just ask them (appropriate) questions about Themselves. Do you go to school? Any other jobs you have? What do you do on when you have time?

   Some people will not respond enthusiastically because they’re super awkward and don’t enjoy being put in the spotlight. No fault of your own.

   The best practice is initiating on your own. Best of luck.

9. I’m not a sociable person but I’m glad to say i have made friends that truly ‘clicked’ with me. and by experience on what my friends did to befriended me, be truthful on what your interests are. my friends also said that they stayed friends with me because I don’t ridicule others on something I don’t have interest or believe in. so, you can try to always be true and keep an open mind to others for a start!

10. I have the same question as you.

    I am unable to click with anyone.

    I have social skills. I can talk to anyone, hold a conversation. Honestly speaking, i can do it better than most people.

    But it doesn’t click for me.

11. I would say, I click with some people … at least from my view point. But that required to have a bunch of stuff in common and seeing each other a lot.

    Therefore it required finding people with similar interests and ideology. And meeting them repeatetly, which means having some kind of regular meetup related to those events. Furthermore it shouldn’t be focused so much on the interest, that you have no time to socialize and also talk about other things, that part is important to get to know each other.

    For finding such a place, you have to be somewhat lucky. Because many are either too focused on interests (very serious sport clubs) or have no real focus at all (bars, single parties etc). So it’s either not possible to connect deeper or there aren’t interesting people to begin with.

12. I get what you mean. Even if I manage to click with them really well one day it’s so hard to get the ball rolling again the next. I always feel like I run out of things to say or do. I believe I am the sole problem.