Not sure if it’s just me but I’ve always been socially anxious about talking and would sometimes stutter because I can’t formulate thoughts quick enough because I’m nervous. I feel like everyone around me is just naturally good at talking.
Not sure if being shy at 27 is still a ‘thing’ anymore? Like I really hate it but I’m not sure what to do.
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Hey bud. So, 22f here – someone who has always been somewhat shy, anxious around people I don’t know well, and also stutters when I’m nervous. I have found that I do best socially, surprise surprise, where I’m comfortable! Where I’m not sitting there wondering if I’m being weird, focusing on not being weird, etc. And I’ve always been hyperaware of how I perceive people to perceive me. There is no ‘supposed to’ my friend, there really isn’t – you are who you are, and that’s okay. I’ve found by staying in my circle and keeping it small, I worry about those things a lot less, and I’m able to join in on the conversation and still participate, even if im not as bubbly as others. I am able to enjoy my time and criticize myself less on being who I am. If you stutter when you cant formulate a complete thought, just pause, or even say, hang on, I’m trying to think of how to say this – and anyone worth being around will be patient. My friends see it and my awkwardness as a quirk. it’s okay my friend.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
Something in your life has given you weaker social skills than what you consider to be “normal” (whatever that is).
There are many shy people, the thing is they don’t see a problem with it. You do, and you have the power to change it.
Some advice I’ve always enjoyed is that everyone is worried about themselves. They are barely noticing you.
Embrace your mistakes, and dont run from them. You say something that was dumb? Laugh at it with them. You guys get a laugh, and you learn that what you said was silly. Learn from experiences.
Here is something you can do to build confidence and work directly on communicating. It’s hard, I’m warning you.
Grab your phone, open the camera and hit record. Talk to yourself for 5 minutes. This will probably be really awkward haha. But that’s the point! To see your awkwardness. Talk about anything that comes to mind, but don’t quit before 5 minutes.
Watch it. (The cringe right?)
Here you can see what you look like in public, you can notice things you like, things you don’t like, and start improving yourself directly.
Do this every day, 5 minutes for huge results.