Throwaway. Title summarises it.
I’m not going to give an abundance of details, it’s rather simple. Fell in love with my best friend, felt like he was the only person that I could ever relate to. 2 years later, he’s in a relationship, I thought I was over him, but every so often this gnawing feeling comes back that feels like I’ve been going through a break up. I’m not trying to find a solution, I want him to be happy and he is, which is great. I just want to know how to move on? Or why I’m so hung up on it?
TLDR: In love w someone I can’t be with, trying to move on.
3 comments
Hey there,
I’m sorry you find yourself in this situation. It sounds like it’s been a difficult journey and it must be hard to feel so connected to someone and not be able to be with them.
I think trying to focus on yourself and your own life is a great start. It’s important to take care of yourself and recognize that you’re worth more than just a relationship. Perhaps you can try to make some new connections, start new hobbies, or even just take some time out for yourself.
It’s also important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of what could have been. It’s ok to be sad and it’s ok to feel the emotions that come with these kind of situations.
I hope you can find some peace and move forward.
Take care.
Get more involved with other friends. Branch out into new hobbies or volunteer work etc. Really you need to create some space you can move on.
Did you ever confess these feelings to him when he was single? Love is rarely something you just wait around for until it falls into your lap. If he’s been with this girl for two years, it’s likely you’ve missed your shot. Maybe you need to cultivate other friendships, in the hopes that you can get better timing with one of them down the line?
Demisexuality requires a level of initiative to pull off in established friendships, as most people won’t innately code-switch in that circumstance. Unless you are pretty blatant about wanting to change the dynamic, guys like your friend aren’t going to push boundaries unilaterally. The types of dudes that can maintain platonic friendships with women aren’t generally the types to hit on their female friends.