I cannot, for the life of me, continue a conversation.

8 comments

1. Ask questions.

   For example, “boy it’s cold out, huh?”

   Instead of saying “yeah”, say “yeah, have you been outside a lot?”

   If they say “nope”, I’ve been avoiding it”, instead of saying “me too”, say “me too. So what’s been keeping you busy with all that time indoors?”

   Etc.

2. Always always ask them questions… about pretty much anything. People like to talk about themselves

3. the hack to continue the conversation is asking questions about the last sentence you remember.

4. For me, I fizzle out after small talk kinda of…
   But, i having trouble being vulnerable, and sharing what im doing in life, or that week…
   I feel boring. But, I just need to have more fun doing stuff small, or big.

   But, it really helps to be naturally curious about the world, or just kinda say something it reminds you of.

   Wow, its really cold outside!
   …yeah, traffic is going to suck. But, at least I can listen to the radio.

   ..or, at least I can go home, and watch this netflix movie, or something I ve been wanting to see…

   Its like branching paths, …this thing reminds me of these other fun things.

5. I think it’s normal for anyone to not know what to say at times. But for me the way i think about it is I say whatever comes up automatically in my head (of course only if it’s relevant to the conversation, since ya know spontaneous thoughts can be completely random and not relevant)

6. Improving social skills takes work, but once the ball is rolling it becomes so much easier to maintain.

   What are you interested in?

   What are you curious about?

   Write down a set of questions, around 10 or so that cover multiple things that interest you.

   “How is your day going today?”

   “Did you watch (insert popular show or sport) yet?”

   Etc. Find your own curiosities.

   When you have this list, memorize a few that you like and try them out! You will realise that it doesn’t really matter what you say, but in showing a genuine interest in another person is where conversation can be found.

   People will like you or dislike you before they even know you, so take the step to get to know others!

   Or, don’t. Find what works for you and own it. It’s your world, people are npcs, nobody really cares. Loosen up my friend!

7. There are a couple of methods I’ve run across. One was in the context of sales, the other for social situations. Interestingly, both used the mnemonic FORM.

   The first, from sales, suggests asking about Family, Occupation, Recreation, and inserting a Message. Don’t get too specific in your inquiries, just something like “What town do you live in?” Or “Do you have any hobbies?”

   The other method is more introspective. It suggests asking about Feelings, Opinions, Reasons, and Meanings. “How do you feel about the recent news” etc.

   Hopefully this gives some ideas that you can FORM your conversations around.

8. In alot of instances I’ve found out that you actually do have things to say but when you have to be the one to continuously ask questions and keep the conversation alive it feels rather annoying and like the other isn’t putting in the same effort.