No reassurances were ever enough for him and last night I had enough and kicked him out today. It did not go well. He went off the rails. He always said his insecurity and jealousy come from being hurt in the past but I wonder how much of that was even real or if it was a similar narrative he built up in his head. And he’s the type that when I’ve said it was over he’ll threaten suicide and do other stuff without regard to consequences. This was definitely not our first “break up” and in the past he’d apologize and it’d go right back to.the way it was in short order. I just don’t know if there’s any fixing that. I never did anything shady to him but he says he sees me texting people on my phone, for example, when I didn’t but no matter how much I show him I wasn’t, he’d then accuse me of deleting it. Constant shit like that. It’s just about impossible to prove a negative so wtf!
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My ex always accused me. I never cheated. He constantly did.
I dated someone like your bf before. Men like him do not change. No matter how loving or patient or self-sacrificing you are, you will never magically heal him, help him grow, or make him realize that you’re “The One” and inspire him to stop mistreating you. He will always suspect you. He will always emotionally manipulate you. The guy is pushing 40. You can spend another 10 years with him and still be dealing with the same shit.
You did right by kicking him out. DON’T cave when he tries to manipulate you again. If it’s feasible, inform his parents or siblings or closest friend that he has threatened to kill himself and he needs help, and then BLOCK HIM. Do not pick up his calls or respond to texts or messages on social media. If necessary, change your number. You got this.