I’ve been talking to someone for a while, we’ve seen each other a couple times but never been physical. We’ve sexted mutually but it leads me to feel a level of guilt and disgust at myself, I feel as though I am exploiting them. I feel as though my sexuality is inherently exploitative and any sexual action towards anyone, no matter how enthusiastically consenting is exploitation and disrespectful. I feel as though all male sexuality is violent.
I’ve felt this way since I was a boy, and have previously spent time looking online for ways to become asexual. This has been a problem in previous relationships. I feel a sense of guilt that makes it hard to face them, like I have abused them and they simply do not realise they deserve better.
Has anyone else been through this, and is there a way to fix this? I’ve always acted like a eunich in public, rejecting any notion I’m a sexual being. I’ve been better lately, but still I’m feeling guilty.
3 comments
You need to seek why. Sexuality should be enjoyed and males are not animals.
„all male sexuality violent“. Yeah, off the mark by just short of twenty kilometers. Just, wrong.
You might need someone to get to the core of the issue. A therapist might help with that, because they are trained. Im not saying this to shame you, but to help you. Because as i read this, this will become a bigger problem if not sorted out. And it might make future relationships really hard. Because sexuality is something to be experienced and tastes to be shared with a partner. It should be adventurous, interesting, fun and pleasurable. Not connected with guilt.
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Okay, I’m no psychologist, but it sounds like you have a deep rooted misogynistic view and are hiding it behind a mask of misandry.
Just so you’re aware, women are not lesser beings. They are human. They’re also capable of consenting to sex.
As men we have the “tools” that go inside the other partner during sex, and maybe through some heavy Olympic level mental gymnastics you can almost paint that as a violent act in nature. But the women still hold the keys to the gate.