I’m 22F in college and I’m kinda struggling to make friends. Maybe it was the whole pandemic but I realized I’ve become anti social.. I was hanging out with one of my classmates, but every time we hung out she would make herself the center of the conversation and constantly talk about her life. And then whenever she wasn’t talking about herself, she would tell me things about her friends that I don’t know, her party life (I’m not a party person, I’m a stay at home and watch Netflix type of person) and also say things about our other classmates that wasn’t any of my business. Gossip per say. It was just draining. I always left the conversation feeling tired and unfulfilled. We had things in common, but idk I guess just the way she was rubbed me the wrong way, I started to get annoyed and retracted. I also feel like I’m good at reading people and her persona just seemed very unauthentic. She started getting close to someone else in class and then completely started to ignore me, and now we don’t talk at all. Am I the problem? Did I judge to harshly? Or is this a normal thing that can happen?
TLDR: classmates personality started to annoy me, so I refrained from continuing a friendship. am I the problem, or is this a normal thing.
2 comments
I would say no. Some people feel they need to talk about others to be interesting, not realizing that it’s not a good look. You don’t need to fake anything you aren’t feeling. But I have no friends so good luck finding other authentic people
Did you try to tell her about your life?
Maybe she was just trying to keep the conversations going and avoid any awkwardness.
If she cut you off or didn’t listen to you, then it makes sense that you would not want a friend that is self centered.
A friendship is a two way street.
There is give and take
Meaning issues occur when one of the parties only gives, or only takes.
Someone who talks too much can be an issue
Someone who only listens can be an issue
Ultimately none of us were there, so it’s up to you to discern what was going on.
Either way, you can make new friends or you can watch more Netflix. It is not the end of the world