So I realize one big hurdle for me when it comes to a lack of socializing is two fold, i often feel like i say things just to be participating, however more times than not i say the wrong things or stupid things and then im like ” wtf I shouldn’t have said that, why did i say that, that was dumb” and im not just being hard on myself, i literally say some dumb stuff, its like i can’t find the right thing to say or just filler statements even. I’m not interesting enough i feel, and ive even seen people get deathly bored and even tired when talking to me lol. So that contributes to me just listening more.
The other big thing for me is that I am also very self conscious about how my public perception in every way. I’m very serious acting just because im afraid to be loose and have a good time, people have even told me they thought i was stuck up, where it’s like the opposite, im just afraid yet i do yearn for the ability to socialize and network.
Another very big part of this is that i will feel scared of others judging me in any negative way, even simple stuff like how i look, what im wearing, or being jealousy or envious of me, or judging how i sound, this is why i would rather hide in the shadows than participate, just to go along to get along and not cause any negativity, yet i realize that it’s harmful to me overall. I just wish I could for once not care, smile, be animated, be funny, open up, ask questions, get to know people without judging and fear of being judged. why am i like this??
I could go on but I will pause there, that’s the gist. It makes me feel like a “wuss” or like weak, and it’s sad for me, it does bother me. I need advice on how I should interpret this, and what i should do to change this? i reazlize it’s ridiculous… yet i still let it control me. It hinders my oppenness, my networking, my advancement in life, everything! social anxiety sucks worse than people that don’t have it will ever know. be glad if you don’t have it!!! it’s practically ruined a lot in peoples lives.
any advice is greatly appreciated!
1 comment
Why do you think others are judging you?
Did something happen in the past?
Or do you judge people so you assume they do the same?
Most people are so worried about themselves they hardly notice you
And if they do notice and judge you, so what?
Do you like yourself? Do you think you are a good person? Why? Why not?
Here.. I don’t know you but let’s say you have brown hair
And I come up to you and say, “I hate your pink hair I think it’s stupid.”
Does that offend you?
You know you don’t have pink hair, so who is the idiot?
Or, would you believe you have pink hair because I said so?
This can be applied to anything, someone says you are a bad person, but you know you aren’t. So whatever they think doesn’t matter.
They think you are rude? Well you had no intention of being rude, so that is just what THEY think.
Ground yourself in your own reality, and let others live in theirs