Im a 25 year old male and I feel like k should be in my sexual prime. Yet it has been almost 3 years since I have last had sex. In my last relationship the sex wasn’t the greatest towards the end and I had (and still have) a fair amount of anxiety from it. She even told me that my premature ejaculation and not getting as hard were contributing factors.
I have had some sexual experiences recently but they all lead to the same thing, ED to where I couldn’t perform, not even enough to get a BJ. Nerves just getting the better of me, as I don’t thinks low T. I Can still get it up solo but whenever I’m with a women it all goes haywire. Any tips in this as it causes me to just avoid and sexual advances and even some social ones too
3 comments
As a man, your prime truly starts at any age. I’m only 23
I’m 27 and I still have some anxiety the first time I get naked in front of a girl.
Things that I could suggest that might help your confidence is working out (I know cliche) but that would boost your self-image. You can’t do nothing about your size down there but if you’re with the right girl, she wouldn’t mind even when it’s in shrinked mode.
Can’t speak for everyone but let her take charge if you haven’t done it so far. I’ve never been with a girl where she just lays there and expects me to start my “routine” on her, they’re always wild and do all sorts of stuff that they like. If she’s in a star fish position waiting for you, that would definitely turn me off and get me off the mood lol.
I feel your struggle. Getting back from a relationship where you were not respected and helped with your struggles combined with the everpresent pressure of performing masculinity is a straight up bonerkiller for me, too, especially with new partners.
As boring as it sounds but communication is key.
If you guys want to do it in a way that is mutually satisfying, you should talk about the following activities anyways and while talking about do’s and don’ts you should talk about your issue. I know what you think ‘moodkiller’ or something of that sort but think about what mood you just killed.
I have sex with dudes and dudettes as well and it always shows when they are incapable of communicating. It just turns into a pressure filled nightmare. You can’t be confident when you have to play someone you are not.
Talking takes the edge of and taking some time to get hard leaves plenty of time for foreplay.
Consent is a wonderful thing, too. Nothing kills my anxiety as much as a softly whispered ‘yes, take me’.
I just assume one of the worst fears of yours would be her walking out on you mid boinking(wonder where my head got that from;). Only time that is realistic to happen is overstepping boundaries (which is why you need to know them) same as she has to know how you tick(she don’t want you walking out either).
God damn I love consent 😀