Okay so, context:
I really want to meet someone, find a partner to go through life with and be there to support one another in the good times and the bad times. I love having someone to care for, focus on, etc.
However, when it comes to dating, they tend to go two ways:
1. I’m not interested after the first few dates
2. I am interested after the first few dates, and excited about the possibilities, but THEY aren’t interested
I also get deeply hurt when the person ends things, even though I logically understand that it’s not personal exactly, and I’ve done the same thing.
I guess I’m wondering if there’s any advice on how I could DO dating better? I mean there’s the obvious answer, don’t get so keen/attached early on, and it’s something I am consciously working on… but any advice on how to “be a good dater”? Like dating for dummies?
1 comment
It’s okay to be picky on values that are important to you like whether someone is kind or honest or is cleanly. But SOMETIMES, not every time, you have to accept someone’s interests or traits that don’t necessarily align with yours. What’s important in relationships is not common interests but common values like trust and commitment. You don’t want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t enhance your life. You also don’t want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t value their time with you. Be picky for what’s important to you and maybe a little open minded about what is not.
About the getting hurt part. I always struggled and still do struggle with getting attached to someone early. I had to learn that part of love and life in general is getting hurt and that it’s okay to be sad when someone doesn’t reciprocate, that just means your heart is working. Don’t put the brakes on because you’re scared of getting hurt, that will just cause more problems along the way.