In your own words, Why is it hard to be a Man?

46 comments

  1. Society in general doesn’t seem to give a shit about you because your a man and the “patriarchy” supposedly puts you at the top of the food chain.

  6. The entire world is just waiting for you to slip a little to put you down in a way you can’t even feel your legs to even try to stand up again . Every mistake as a man is a death sentence or something VERY close to it .

  9. Everyone in your life expects you to bring something of value to the table, or to do something for them. Only exception being a best friend, if you can manage to still have one of those once you reach your 30s. Problem with that is men need down time, eg hobbies, quiet time to just sit and think, time when nothing is expected of them if we are to maintain a decent mental health.

  10. Maybe because of todays toxic feminism and their norms? Everyone is speaking about toxic masculinity and none about toxic femininity nowadays, and how it affects men. No hate here to anyone just fact

  12. Literally cannot go anywhere where there may be women or young children, without making sure to keep my eyes on the ground, my hands in my pockets, and a distance of at least 15 feet where possible to avoid dirty looks.

    I’m expected to be stoic, and analytical, while also being accused of being heartless and closed off for being exactly that.

    Asking for help is something im not supposed to do, but also expected to do.

  13. Less chances to make mistakes , and emotions/feelings not really taken into consideration

  16. I’ll cite Chris Rock here.

    “Only women, children and dogs receive unconditional love. Men receive love only if they provide something.”

    This, plus the fact that now masculinity has been labeled “toxic” doesn’t help men. Incarceration, suicides, murder, and homelessness are statistically speaking dominated by men. 99.9% of combat deaths are men. I can keep going but I’m sure some whack fat fuck of a feminist will come in here with their blue hair and tell me I’m wrong and I don’t feel like arguing.

  18. Anything worth doing is hard. So, you have to embrace the hard. Try to be good at doing hard things. Get to the point that when it gets hard, you get more motivated. So, if you want to succeed and thrive in this life, you’d better be good at doing hard things.

  19. As a young millennial, I think it’s because so many millennial and gen Z boys grew/are growing up without a father.

    But, also because the world has changed drastically in a very short period of time.

    Society needs different things from men. It needs different things from women too. Women are actively carving out their new place in society. Men, not so much. As a whole were kinda floundering. The world changed, and a lot of us never had a proper father to teach them the tools to navigate modern life and how to carve out our space. And those of us that did have fathers, well our fathers weren’t great at changing with the times and giving us relevant advice and tools.

    As a whole men didn’t change with society. We resisted it and got angry about how unfair this or that was instead of standing up and learning to be who we needed to be to happy and healthy in society. Instead, we turned to our egos and our go it alone mentality. And that’s just not what functions best within our society.

    Times are just changing. And just like every time the times change, it takes a second for people to adjust. We’re just going through that right now.

    But, the cool part of this is that even though women and society don’t need the same things from men that they used to, it does mean we get to reinvent ourselves. And we can learn from the past and be better than we’ve been.

  21. Because we’re judged by the intrinsic value we add to the world/those around us. We born with no value and have to build ourselves up to a high level to prove our value. If you falter at any step along the path you can be forever damaged and not viewed as a valuable human being.

    Usually this value is determined in “status” terms…typically this is judged by money. But can be fame, popularity, power, etc.

    If you’re a average guy with an average income and average accomplishments in life you are not deemed as “valuable”. You are disposable…and nobody cares about you or praises you.

    **”Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral”**

  22. Because from a very young age, we are taught to be more feminine and hide our masculine tendencies – in schools, in society, in social media, and pop culture. Young boys are shamed for their masculine tendencies and instincts and told that their very nature is bad and to be suppressed.

    Then boys grow into teenagers and maybe rebel a bit but are still hammered on for the same things.

    Then teens become adults and are released into the world, still full of their repressed nature, their aggression, competitiveness, dominant drives – but now they have never been taught how to control it. Never taught to channel it in a positive direction, never done that channeling, and received positive feedback for it. A world of grown men who were never taught to handle their power.

    From there is goes one of a couple ways – they become criminals and/or abusers, they become depressed messes and addicts, they become weak but harmless men, resigned to their position as a valueless being, or (best option) they manage to pull themselves together and find ways to be a proper man and fufill those masculine drives in a positive way that still keeps the target off their back.

    Unfortunately, the latter option is the best for society, but also carries almost as much damage for men as the first. They will often feel unfulfilled, they will be denied the positive feedback, affirmation, and appreciation they need, even from a loving partner, because our society has deemed valuing such things to be bad.

  23. The burden is always on men.

    Whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, etc.

    Need to vent about something? You shouldn’t be showing emotions

    Got rejected for the 50th time by a woman? Clearly it’s your fault, women can do no wrong

    Disagree with a female colleague? Clearly you’re mansplaining.

    The list goes on and on. I’d rather have been born a chick. It’s just easier to get ahead in life now as a woman than as a man.

  24. Lol it’s not even worth trying to convey, because nobody actually cares.

    I think that answer says it all, anyways.

  25. Because the definition of being a man needs to change.

    Being a man is actually dealing with your problems in a healthy way instead of shutting everyone out and going out to drunk and high as fuck instead, only to then lash out later anyway.

    Being a man is not lashing seeing your child as a human and not a mistake and treating them with respect, knowing that you’re already being a better father then yours was.

    Being a man is looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself, no more, I need to change. I need to live myself because I can’t love anyone if I don’t.

    Being a man is admitting when you don’t have it handled and that ignoring it doesn’t make you appear tougher.

    It’s hard to be a man, because the old school way if being a man means to ruminate in your own self-hatred and take it out on the next person you see at a pub and knocking him out to feel ‘strong’ and ‘invisible’ for the next few weeks.

  26. Well considering that women in general still have a lot to complain about, because they won’t stop complaining…… I have to make the only logical conclusion…… even if it is sometimes hard to be a man, it apparently sucks less than being a woman….. so at that point, who would listen to us complain? 🤷🏽‍♂️

  27. The hardest part is becoming a man in the first place. Perhaps it works out well if you have the right type of father or role model, but just having a father doesn’t solve the problem. I learned a lot about being a man in spite of my father. In real life, no one taught me how to deal with the feelings loneliness in my teenage years, no one taught me how to be more confident, no one was honest enough with me to help me sort through where I was lacking.

    I lucked out and found a subreddit full of older masculine men who actually understood all of these problems. Engaging in that subreddit helped me process my feelings the right way and made me realize I wasn’t alone. It made me a better man amongst my male friends, and I was able to bring them up with me. It gave me the encouragement I needed to get out of my shell and try things that caused my confidence to grow. It taught me to take accountability for myself and how to learn from my mistakes.

    I assume there are a lot of boys and young men who felt just like I did back then. Unless you find a good resource that can help your process these things, I think it can be difficult to transition from a boy to a man.

  29. The constant societal pressure to:

    * be as swift as a coursing river
    * have the force of a great typhoon
    * have the strength of a raging fire
    * be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon

  32. Because the only way you are allowed to move is forward, Move in any other direction and you die/get discarded.

  35. Hard because we are taught to be strong and bring something of value to the table of everything from family to relationships told not to express our feelings suppress them and it ends up coming out in anger and rage for bottling them up so much.

    If you’re a failure with women you get seen as less then by your male peers and get told that you don’t deserve any kind of love of affection in your life.

    The general consensus on how a man is supposed to look and behave is also having a effect have big muscles be tall and good looking just in hopes to attract the opposite sex or same sex if you are that way inclined.

    Being a man comes with many pressures but so does being a Women to in society.

  36. The hard part is that your basic worth as a human is always up for grabs. And lots of people want to grab, because it makes them feel powerful. I find this to be anxiety inducing.

  37. So I’ve been with my gf for a year..
    She has 3 kids, .. she has a council house,
    I rent a stupid little ‘room’ for double the rent she pays on her house.
    I have 3 kids but can’t have them at my ‘room’ on my weekends.

    She went off work 2 weeks ago because her son got sepsis.. she’s off with stress and helping her son.
    Regardless of what happens, she will be entitled to stay at her property, with benefits or whatever.

    I was off for 2 weeks with an episode of severe anxiety which I’ve suffered with for 15 years.. could probably lose my ‘room’ if I don’t sacrifice something or sell something or whatever.
    I would have my kids full time if the mother allowed, or more often, but rather impossible given my housing status.

    So housing is one factor.

    Secondly… in this relationship, she’s going through a tough patch, and so am I. I’m expected to be supportive, help around her house, pick up after her and her kids, love her, listen to her, just be ‘a man’. Strong, confident funny…
    I try to do this and show asuch support, emotional and physical work around the house..
    yet when I’m going through a rough patch, women (it seems in general.. as its happened in every relationship) don’t provide the same level of love and support as men do.

    One post on here sounds very accurate, along the lines of, men love women, women love children, children love hamsters and hamsters love noone.. rings very true.

    Always double standards.

  38. Painted into a corner with a broad brush. Many high-profile (and many more low-profile) men have behaved terribly (to put it mildly) towards women for centuries. Seems like now the default expectation is that we’re violent Andrew Tate clones until we’ve proven otherwise…if we even can at a certain point.

  40. Men are disposable by nature. Expected to dominate but, there’s only so many who could be at the top. Limits to the rewards of hard work, Always someone more talented then you.

    There’s a lot more to beat down a guy then there is for women.

  41. It’s not that hard if you just think about what you value, who you value, and what you want for them. All this talk about “societal expectations” like yeah I got some expectations for society, when society meets mine then I’ll work to meet theirs. In the meantime I just do what I want and only focus on the people that matter. Like I don’t understand what makes it so hard for some people

  45. Being a man on your own is not hard.
    Being a man who is the sole provider is hard.
    You’re expected to magically have more time in the day than there is, you have to work, spend time with your kids/spouse, do chores and do family activities with zero time for yourself.
    It can leave your head spinning.
    If you have an understanding partner it becomes a whole lot easier but you’ll always be thinking “am I enough? Am I doing enough? How long will they understand the pressure I’m under before losing it?”
    You’ll always be at fault, you’ll always be a target for someone.
    You live in constant fear of false accusations of indecent behaviour which even if proven false, will scare your reputation for life because someone will always perpetuate and repeat those accusations for no other reason than “because they can get away with it.”
    My advice for the young bucks is remember, your reputation can save your life, it can be damaged, called into question but, the way you carry and present yourself from a young age matters. The way you treat people, particularly women, MATTERS, be good to each other and never be afraid to talk to other guys about your worries.

  46. I don’t think it’s hard. I wouldn’t want to be a woman. Even the stuff men’s rights activists complain about like not getting kids in custody .. . i don’t even want to take care of kids lol. Let the mom take care of them. better yet, i’m not going to have any.

    Or divorce settlements . .. like, get a prenup if you have assets to protect. It’s not that hard. If a woman stays with me 10+ years, i’d kcik her some cash cuz she’s earned it at that point. i can be a real asshole lol

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