At what point in your relationship with your partner did you normalize jerking off?

30 comments

1. Is it not normalized from the beginning?

   Unless my bf is doing it to the point that it’s affecting our sex life and it’s nothing that the FBI would take an interest in, I could really give a fuck tbh

2. I didn’t. I just normalized her jerking me off.

3. Huh? Is it not normal to masturbate together and have a race? Lmao

4. If he’s horny and I’m not, he can jerk off. If I’m horny and he’s not, I’ll jerk off. If we’re both horny and in the house then chances are we’ll jerk each other off (cheesy as it may). We still respect spaces and even if he’s fine seeing me go at it, oftentimes I’ll do it hidden or inside the bathroom. He’s the one who loves flaunting it to me when he’s doing it though but I secretly love it nonetheless.

   It’s not affecting us negatively (even helpful, actually) so it’s not something we pay serious attention to. We cum, clean, and go and that’s it.

5. In a healthy relationship it should be perfect fine for either party to take care of themselves from time to time.

   I know women can be uncomfortable with it as I have had several exs that “banned” it. Notice how they are exes. For some its a control thing, but most of the time it stems from insecurity.

   I’m not aware of men that don’t like if their partner gets themselves off, but I’m sure they exist. Again I’m guessing it comes from a lack of self-confidence or insecurity.

   Communication makes the world go round.

6. Get off next to each other. Talk about the fantasies you enjoy having. Watch some porn together.

7. I used to be in a relationship where she got insulted when I did. Now my sig other doesn’t care. We have a very communicative relationship. You have to learn to talk people.

8. I never watched porn or jacked off while in a relationship. It didn’t seem right, so out of respect for my girl I’ve always stopped porn use. Currently I don’t watch porn or jack off regardless of my relationship status.

9. She just accepts that it’s something guys do. I do it a lot less when we’re having regular sex. Many weeks I don’t jerk it at all. If I did it would be in private without her around. So mostly we just don’t talk about it. Sucks when we want to have sex the same day I jerked it and the sex is diminished a bit.

10. I think it’s a conversation that should be had in the early dating stages. Communicating what turns you on and what doesn’t. Things you’re okay with and what your deal breakers are. Masterbation should not hinder your relationship. I couldn’t stay in a relationship where my partner found it unfaithful or dirty.

11. She’s not gonna ask for anything sexual so I jerk off all the time. I’m not sure if she knows but I really don’t care.

12. I been jerking off since I was 12, you really think having a partner is going to stop me? Lol

13. It’s just a normal thing. There might be conversations about it as we discuss sexy stuff early on, and often there’s moments of “I was touching myself thinking of you…” or similar too.

    I just assume people are enjoying their bodies in that way, and I expect them to assume the same of me. I’ve never run into it being any kind of issue.

14. She walked in on me having a tug. She left the room pretty quickly and was acting awkward through the day so I said “there’s no need to feel awkward, I was just jerking off. No big deal”. She laughed and we carried on with our lives.

15. Whenever we stopped having as much sex as I wanted.

16. We joked about it forever, now she’ll either watch or assist.

17. I still keep it on the DL. It’s not a big deal. I can wait until she’s at work if I really want to. 90% of the time I’d rather have sex.

18. When she was considered high risk in pregnancy and I didn’t want her to feel obligated.

19. I have never normalized but with my exs I have had sex 90% of the times that I wanted sex. If I was in a dead bedroom relationship I’d normalize jerking off very fast.

20. Why would you have to normalize jerking off? Nearly everyone masturbates. It *is* normal.

21. what does this question even mean? jerking off is always normal, how does being in a relationship make a difference?

22. Jerking off is normal but if it’s affecting your sex life with your partner then it is not good.If you prefer porn over sex with your partner or your performance is poor because of excessive porn use then no I don’t think that’s good at all. I used to watch porn with my ex cause I needed it in order to get in a mood cause I had hard time feeling it with him and I often did not want sex with him so I encourage him to watch porn… If I’m happy in the relationship and attracted to my partner and getting enough sex ,I do not need to jerk off or watch porn. It’s probably different for guys..I don’t care if my bf does it but if he is paying OF or talking to girls and interacting with them then yes it does bother me ngl

23. Very early on in our relationship she walked in on me jerking off I stopped straight away and tried to pull the blanket up. She asked if it was ok if I kept going so she could see what it looked like to watch a guy jerk off.

    We have a really healthy sex life in my opinion for a couple that’s been together for over twenty years now. We have sex at least two times a week and a lot of mutual and sometimes solo masturbation sessions so it’s not something that we aren’t doing.

    Sometimes she will tell me to just jerk off as she is really tired and I will, but more often then not she will turn back around and watch me and then she always ends up wanking too sometimes leads to blowjobs but it does something to her that she almost always will join in IF she decides to watch me.

    In twenty plus years of our sex life I have yet to turn her down once and ever say Im tired or not feeling well because I ALWAYS have time and energy for sex lol.

24. Imo it should always be normalised but your first choice should be fucking your partner.

25. First date for me, that’s why she didn’t want a second date. I don’t recommend that

26. I have been married for about 16 years, and just this week, we began talking about out my and her, masturbation habits. And so far, it has been amazing. Communicating, showing each other what we like…..last night it led to the best sex we’ve had since we were brand new. It is still a little awkward to discuss, but it’s getting easier for both of us and is broadening our horizons thus far.

27. It’s only ever a problem of you’re doing that and avoiding sex. Unless you mean you want your partner to watch you, if it’s not affecting your sex life then it’s not something that needs a discussion or to be normalized.

28. I would never tell a woman she couldn’t touch her own body. It’s her body. She’s had it her whole life. It doesn’t bother me at all if she looks at celebrities or pornstars to do it. (If she actually knew the guy I’d be a little worried she was going to act on it.) I wouldn’t settle for less than the same autonomy in return.

29. We’ve never discussed it. I suspect she wouldn’t approve, though she must have some idea that I indulge, not least because she is no longer interested in intimacy so it’s my only outlet.

30. My body, my choice. If she doesn’t like it, the door is over there.