Do any of you feel like its just so hard to find someone you have a connection with or actually like? Last June, I got out of a 9 year relationship. So this past fall I started dating again. I feel like I get alot of options and I feel like I will meet great guys who are into me. But I dont know why its hard because they have everything going for them but for some reason they are missing a spark or connection. I met one that I really was super into and we dated for a good bit but then he had to take a job transfer out of state so we ended things because it was just too far. I still feel like i havent found anyone close to a connection I had with him. I have one I am talking to now who is really into me but something is missing on my end. I am starting to think maybe I am looking for something wrong or something is wrong with me. Why is it so hard to find someone you really like and they really like you? Anyone else feel this way? Or have felt this way?
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Yes. I felt that way. I also left a 9 year relationship a few years ago. Things were rocky for a while but I didn’t want to rock the boat because they were the only person I have ever dated that liked a lot of the same things I did, though we had our differences.
I tried dating apps but… nothing really worked. I kept meeting people I had to make some kind of compromise with personality wise and each time I was willing to give it a shot but they ghosted me (each one, not a single “it didn’t really work out, sorry.”)
I am now dating this absolutely wonderful woman who really likes me, we’re into all the same stuff, we’re getting into stuff the other likes and the spark is just there. Like, I didn’t know falling in love was supposed to be this easy. But, now I’m so scared of exactly what happened to you, that something will tear us apart and that will be it because I never found that spark like I have with the person.
I think it’s also worth pointing out that I’ve long since accepted that I’m demisexual. I can only feel physical attraction to people once I form an emotional connection with them. Once I realized that, I realized why my whole life I just never experienced attraction the way others seemed to.
Genuine connection is rare to begin with. We got sold this hallmark fantasy that everyone has a “twin flame” out there. They don’t.