She is generally very tired and also going through rough time mentally because of work and is seeking therapy for it. We average 3-4 times a month. We cuddle and kiss and feel each other up but as soon as I try to take it to sex I’m mostly stopped because she is bloated or tired or not in the right headspace.
We have a great time generally in life and are able to talk and hang out and everything. This one aspect sometimes makes me internally cranky but I can’t express because it would be putting pressure on her to have sex. A few times she has noticed my dissatisfaction she has said she’s not in the right headspace or is tired and wants to get better so we can do it more. Therapy might take years and we were both each others first and have been married for a year and I want to have more sex. The times we do have it, half the time is initiated by her and the sex is great and we both finish mostly too.
Anyone else in this situation? And how to deal with it.
4 comments
3-4 times a month is just under once per week. That is a very normal amount for a long term relationship.
Sometimes there are phases in life when the drive is different. The easiest approach would be masturbating when she is not in the mood and accepting that she won’t be able to enjoy sex when she has pain, is stressed and unwell.
Do your best to make her feel happy and reduce stress, so she might want it more often.
And accept that you two will have sex when you’re both in the mood.
OK, I’m going to suggest you up your game. How often do you date her?
Change the sheets on the bed? Have them turned down when she comes home, romantic music?
Take her to bed, give her a massage and walk away?
Pick up dinner on the way home for you two?
Work is getting harder, life is getting busier.
Don’t forget to let her know she’s special and yours
“3 to 4 times a month”?! I’d be happy with once a month at the moment! I haven’t had sex with my wife since the first week of December! Count yourself lucky bru!