I \[30F\] went on two great dates with this guy \[30M\]. The second date we spent 8 hours together, he walked me home, gave me a kiss, and texted me the next morning. I asked a few days later if he wanted to meet up again and he said “absolutely, work’s been rough but let me get a handle on my schedule and we can pick a day!”. I didn’t hear back for a week. I was upset and decided to swipe on the apps. I finally said “screw this, he was handsome and sweet I’m going to text him again”. I’ve had my fair share of fading and ghosting so finally. Figured instead of letting it go this time I’m taking action.
So I texted him asking if he’d like to meet up again and no pressure if not. Lo and behold he texts me saying “Sorry I’ve been pulling all nighters for 4 days straight. How does X day next week work for you?”
Moral of the story, it never hurts to reach out again. Worse case you don’t hear back and you are where you were before you sent the text. Best case everything works out. Glad I swallowed my pride for this one and sent it over
11 comments
Yeah, I never liked the don’t double text rule. Texts can go missing and never get delivered. Seen it happen. I think a lot of people accidentally ghost each other and just assume they’re getting ghosted when a text either didn’t deliver or someone didn’t see it and it got buried. Never hurts to send a second one.
I sent a text to this girl who I think is starting to ghost me and it says “delivered” under the message. Frankly I think in this day in age, it’s exceeding rare that texts don’t get received. Unless you are in a complete blackout area with no service. Everyone is on their smartphone at all hours of the day. Also it takes 10 seconds to send a text message. I just buy the excuse they were too busy to respond.
Sorry that’s just been my experience. 😣
Meh. If they truly cared they would’ve checked and replied to the first message. That’s how I do things and I prefer someone that does the same.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sending another text if it’s been a few days. If they don’t respond to that one then I move on.
If I’m interested I’ll usually double text, but I do it only one time, if they ghost again then that’s it.
Hopefully I’m wrong but in your case I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much, I feel like after 2 dates if someone is interested they’ll have you on their mind and they wouldn’t wait 1 week to contact you
I hate the double text rule, and whoever made it up should have a special seat next to the devil lol
While I agree in theory, it’s heavily reliant for me on how interested I felt they had shown themselves to be previously. If we’d gone out but I didn’t think they indicated they were really that interested, I’m probably not going to text again. While I get people can be busy, I also don’t want to have to convince someone to communicate with me. I have a hard time understanding how someone can go a week without texting if they’re truly interested. But if their communication had been good before the date, they seemed interested during the date, and then there was a lapse then I’d probably try one more time.
yep id do 2-3 times when getting to know someone. after the 3rd i cut my losses
My personal rule is only to double text if I am ready and okay with not getting a response.
Usually I would be anti double-text but in this case your 1st text sounded like you weren’t that interested in him, so I can see why he wouldn’t take the initiative after that.
I’m really glad you posted this! I’ve only been talking to this one guy for a week and I don’t want to seem desperate. I know he works long shifts & coach’s a sports team on the side so is really busy. I’m amazed you waited a week to double text. I feel like I can’t even wait 12 hrs 🙈. But I’m trying to play it cool lol, I messaged him yesterday and he did open my text this morning but hasn’t responded yet. Hopefully he responds by tonight or tomorrow.