Hi guys,
I(m18) need help desperately as whenever my girlfriend gives me a blowjob or a handjob , i start out with a hard bonerAND i really enjoy it but eventually when i actually feel like I’ll finish, i go soft. this has been happening and i don’t know if it’s a porn induced problem or I’m anxious or what. I’m a college student who feels kind of ashamed of having sex problems at the age of 18 and not pleasing her properly. She’s supportive and understanding and doesn’t think i should feel bad . i try not to but it’s incredibly tough as I’m not 50 but 18
pls tell me what to do
i used to masturbate with a death grip
but over time i realized it was wrong and started using lube smoothly with a non death normal soft grip.
i watched porn sometimes but i feel that was a major issue in this,however i do not know how or what to do anything about it. Have stopped watching it now.
PLEASE HELP!
1 comment
So, the thing about “death grip” is that it isn’t so much about how hard you’re squeezing, as it is the fact that you are stimulating yourself in the exact way you need to eventually cum. When you masturbate, you’re an expert user of that particular make and model of that piece of equipment. So when you’re masturbating, and you feel yourself getting close, you know just what specific adjustments to make to finish. Your girlfriend doesn’t have this expertise with your penis. That means that when she’s giving you a blowjob or handjob, and you get close, she isn’t making whatever adjustments you might be used to. Chances are, if you get really close to orgasm a few times without being able to finish, you’re likely to get in your head a little bit. You might feel frustrated, or feel guilty about how long things are taking for her. And that’s likely to take your focus off the good feelings and make you lose your erection.
There are a few things you can do with this. First, you might want to take a break from masturbation altogether for a while. That can help you readjust a little bit. Alternatively, if you have access to a toy of some sort that allows you to masturbate from thrusting rather than stroking, it might help you get more used to cumming from a less-focused form of stimulation. It might also help you realize more precisely how you need to be stimulated to cum. That can be useful to figure out, for example, how to angle yourself in her mouth when she’s giving you head. Something like this could work: http://www.jackinworld.com/techniques/jackinexpert-collection/simulators/baggie-towel. As a personal example, when I first became sexually active, I had a similar issue. I realized that, really, the only way I could cum was with stimulation of the underside of the coronal ridge of my penis (the part where the top of the head meets the shaft). Once I made sure that my girlfriend’s lips were consistently dragging over that part, it made it a lot easier to finish.
Another thing that might help is to guide her physically when she’s giving you a handjob. When you’re getting close, basically grab her hand and use it to jerk yourself off. This has two benefits: one is that you get to cum, the other is that it gives her a more in-depth tutorial on how to get you off.
Most importantly, try to relax and enjoy the experience, regardless of whether you’re finishing. There’s very likely nothing wrong with you, it’s just a matter of adjusting to something new.