I feel like I’ve missed too much

I’m 22(f) and have been living with severe social anxiety and depression since I was 11. I haven’t had a close friend since i was 12, never been to a party or had fun weekends with friends. I’ve missed pretty much everything that molds you into a functional human being lol. I’ve gone through periods of it getting a little better and seeing myself become a little more social, but at this point i feel like it’s impossible for me to have an even moderately successful social life. I love people and all i want to do is to connect with them in a meaningful way, but every time i get a casual acquaintance in my life, I end up pushing them away. I went through all of high school without making any close friends or having any relatable experiences or memories with other people. I didn’t go away for college and ended up at my home town’s extremely small community college. I really tried to put myself out there, but it seemed like everyone who was there just wanted to leave and head off to something better. I live at home in a small town with very few opportunities to meet people, and now it feels like my life is becoming much more concrete. I’m seeing a counselor, but it takes so long to heal from everything that I’m worried that I’m just missing more and more. I don’t want to be stuck like this forever, but how do you make friends or have a healthy social life when you have none of the building blocks that other people have? I’m embarrassed by my lack of life experience. I feel like I’m at an age where everyone has been there and done that, while I haven’t even started.