I never thought I’d be making a post on here, but it seems life had other plans.
So, let’s start. We’ve been friends for 5-ish years. I’ve always thought she was really cool, but nothing beyond that. I got in a serious relationship with my now ex-gf 4 years ago, but we broke up this November.
I waited about two weeks to tell anyone, and naturally, my best friend was the first person I told. I got over the breakup pretty soon because I was awfully miserable for the last few months of being with my ex.
Then my best friend invited me to spend New Year with her (though I brought up the subject of what she was doing on New Year’s, so it’s not like she asked out of nowhere).
We’ve spent time together alone before, as you do with your best friend, but it felt different this time. I got super comfortable around her, and we met up another 3 times in the first two weeks of January. At some point, we ended up cuddling. To be fair, it’s a bit blurry because we were drunk as shit, but I know we cuddled and didn’t have sex or anything like that. I’ve always thought she was great and enjoyed the time we spent together, but we’ve definitely got a lot closer in the last 2 to 3 months.
Now I haven’t seen her since the 2nd week of January because of uni exams, but we’re meeting up again this week. We obviously still talked a bit. We just didn’t really have time to meet up. In those 3 weeks since the last time I saw her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It’s a miracle that I actually managed to finish my exams with how distracted I was.
I did try to convince myself that it’s a bad idea to want to date your best friend of 5 years, but that failed miserably and I just ended up crying myself to sleep a few times before accepting that I’m in love with her.
Problems:
1) I just got out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago. I don’t want my feelings to come across as a rebound.
2) She’s my best friend. If I tell her how I feel and she’s actually not interested, there’s a high risk things would get weird between us. I don’t really know how important it is to her, but I really appreciate our friendship, and idk how I’d survive losing it.
3) She never gave me any hints (or she did, and I’m too stupid to notice). I have no idea if she’s interested in a relationship in general. She generally wasn’t but said she’s thinking about it recently. She has mentioned being interested in some people, but it’s been a while since any of that.
4) I am generally super cuddly, and I occasionally cuddle with my friends, so it’s not actually like a sign of her being interested.
Do I just tell her and risk it? Does anyone here have experience with either secretary having feelings for your best friend or getting rejected by them and still trying to keep the friendship? Any help is appreciated.