My boyfriend (35) who I (27) have been dating on and off for 6 months hid an AirTag in my car before going on vacation for 10 days. I saw him yesterday before his flight. When I got home I got a notification that an AirTag was moving with me. I’ve driven around running errands and I keep getting notifications. No one else has been in my car, it is definitely him. I’ve tried looking for it and I can’t find it. I feel violated and upset. I don’t understand why he didn’t just ask if we can share locations. Makes me feel like he is hiding something from me. I haven’t told him that I know about the AirTag because I honestly don’t know what to do I’m in shock. My friends say I should use it to my advantage and drive to crazy places so that he’ll be forced to bring it up himself. That’s not really my style, I’m very straightforward but I do want to get back at him for violating me like this. Not sure what to do or even what to think. I feel like I can’t trust him anymore. He’s looking pretty psychotic to me right now. What should I do?

Update: thanks for all the support I realize getting back at him is not where I should invest any energy. I’ve looked everywhere and can not find it. I’m still in shock. It was definitely him because the location the AirTag started pinging from was his house. I know it’s in my car because I keep getting notifications and it shows me where the AirTag has been and it’s literally everywhere I’ve driven. I’m not really concerned for my safety because he is out of the country. I literally can’t believe he’s so stupid he didn’t realize that I would get notifications. That just blows my mind. I’m still in shock like I said and I’m frustrated that I can’t find it. Also, every time I try to find it by playing the sound I can’t hear anything.

Update Part2: I checked the engine and the exterior. I’ve had help looking and there are these openings where the seatbelt hooks into the car and I’m thinking he slid it in one of those. They look pretty wide and I’m sure it would move around. There’s no way to really get in there to check for sure.

Update Part 3: He called me. He acted very normal. I knew it was him so I asked him very calmly where he put the AirTag. He pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about for 15 mins. I told him I was going straight to the police then because I was being stalked. He then admitted to it. I asked him where he put it and he said it is in between the back seats (third row seating) I looked there but couldn’t find it. He said he has his doubts because he’s always in his head and just wanted to make sure I was solid. I told him he’s an idiot because he didn’t realize I would get notifications. I am still processing this. I love this guy and I don’t want to break up with him but I feel like I’m crazy if I don’t. This is a crazy level of psycho.

45 comments

  1. Go to the airport and slip it into someone’s luggage. Then message him and say you want to break up without any explanation.

    That’s a HUGE red flag. You do actually need to cut him off. That sort of crazy doesn’t end well, I promise.

    Now, the first part was obviously a joke, but the more I think about it, it’s kinda great. Break up with him and like a week later, hide it on a public bus or something. Let him drive himself crazy wondering what in the fuck you’re doing.

  3. Yea, time to dump that one. That’s a serious boundary cross and indicates some pretty deep insecurities of his.

  5. Ok I have the solution. Not as much effort as your friends solutions but….

    Find out what hotel he is staying at and mail it back to him there but don’t tell him.

    He will think it is you flying to him to surprise him, but he will be let down when he realizes that it’s his plan backfiring.

    It’s a double win

  6. So, after it’s been established that you should break up with a controlling bf, now the issue arises on where best to place the AirTag.

  7. Find the air tag. Make sure it goes to some crazy place, like mail it to someone in another country.. And than ghost him.

    You need to break up with his guy. He is not the one. And you dont even own him and explanation.

  8. Op of your back seats lift up (above the fuel tank) its a very inconspicuous place few people look, if not he could have hidden under your dash driver side

  10. around the tires. people use to hide spare keys around the tires. under the bumpers. You always take it to a mechanic so they inspect the hard to reach parts. is there an “airtag detector” available? this website came up when i searched “how to locate air tag”
    https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=Awr.0F290t5jVrUgR7tx.9w4;_ylu=Y29sbwNncTEEcG9zAzIEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1675576126/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fsupport.apple.com%2fen-us%2fHT212227/RK=2/RS=iyQsHec.nsza_zdOGXsu1y2hxLs-

  12. You can actually press charges for tracking you wothout permission. go figure! once you find it, throw it out. the garbage man will take it on a journey.

  13. Can you take the car to wherever you usually go for service and see if they’ll find it? Then send him the invoice for payment. Then obviously end it.

  14. I would go to a mechanic, at a service centre that’s the same brand as your car (I.e. if your car is a Toyota go to a Toyota mechanic or service centre) and get them to help you locate it. It could be beneath your car. I would report it to the police and break up with him – I don’t feel like you need to have a conversation with him about it (what could he possibly say that would make you want to stick around?) because he’s already shown he’s dangerous. This is not just a small weird thing to do, it’s a red flag which means run. Sorry to hear it hasn’t worked out, but I believe you’ve gotten really lucky and learned something about him that you needed to know.

  15. I don’t know if this works but read up on finding unwanted AirTags when you get the alert it’s traveling with you.

    Find the unknown AirTag, AirPods, or Find My network accessory
    If you get an alert that an AirTag, AirPods, or another Find My network accessory is traveling with you, follow these steps to find it. First, check on the Find My app if you’re able to play a sound on the unknown accessory:
    Tap the alert.
    Tap Continue and then tap Play Sound.
    Listen for the sound. You can play it again if you need more time to find the item.

  16. In the state of Texas it’s against the law to do that. It’s a criminal charge of Misdemeanor A (up to a year in jail and $4k fine) to track a person electronically without their permission. I’m sure that law applies in many states. FYI. It’s kinda a big deal
    Texas penal code 16.06

  17. Did you check by your gas tank? And trunk area he could have placed it when he was pumping gas. And I am sorry it doesn’t matter how much you like him anymore this is absolutely unacceptable behavior. You need to dump him immediately.

  18. I would call the police immediately. I’ve heard way too many bad things about women being stalked with air tags. Call them and have them search your car if you cannot find it.

  19. This is a major red flag, you need to be very careful with nut jobs like him. Please be safe, let a family member know what’s going on or let the police know. That way if anything happens to you, they will know where to look first.

  20. Just… oh… wow. This is the beginnings of a bad b-movie thriller, but it’s actually happening to you.

    This guy has serious issues and there’s no way back. If this is his opening salvo of paranoia, imagine what comes next.

    Break up with him and explain it’s because he’s violated your space because of his trust issues.

    Do not date Very Jealous of Very Insecure People. They will make your life a misery.

  22. Im more in shock that someone who obviously knew you had an iPhone decided it would be a good idea to hide an airtag not registered to you, with you. I thought the whole airtag is moving with you notification thingy was common knowledge, apparently not….

    Never underestimate the human ability for utter fucking stupidity i suppose! 🤷🏻‍♂️

  24. Personally, I don’t know if I would feel safe even seeing him again – especially alone. Like I understand there could be a misunderstanding, so maybe at most over the phone, idk if I want to say even in person I’m just uncertain but like have some kinda convo about receiving air tag notifications and that being strange and see how he responds? That’s just what my minds saying. It’s also saying to just cut off contact and get some serious help too. Find someone who can locate the AirTag to make sure it’s legit and it is there in your car. My minds honestly swirling over this sorry haha. Please stay safe!! Do not go anywhere alone with him. Be cautious.

  25. 1. Have you reported it to Apple?

    2. Report to law enforcement, they can request from apple
    https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT212227
    Additionally, they *should* be more than willing to help search the car for it / have other tools available.

    3. Search wheel wells, underneath car on top of frame, and behind license plate. (Possibly another actor involved in this)

    4. Check under front hood (a place you wouldn’t stumble on it) around the battery / in battery cover.

  26. I replied in one of the threads, but check the inside of the fender wells above your tires.

    Otherwise, the police may be willing to help you find it if your usual service place won’t take you for a week (according to one of your other replies). I know it seems escalatory to involve them, but if you can’t find it then they might be your only option.

  28. Find the unknown AirTag, AirPods, or Find My network accessory
    If you get an alert that an AirTag, AirPods, or another Find My network accessory is traveling with you, follow these steps to find it. First, check on the Find My app if you’re able to play a sound on the unknown accessory:

    Tap the alert.
    Tap Continue and then tap Play Sound.
    Listen for the sound. You can play it again if you need more time to find the item.
    If the option to play a sound isn’t available, the item might not be with you anymore. Or if it was with you overnight, its identifier might have changed. Find My uses the identifier to determine that it’s the same item moving with you. If the item is within range of its owner, you also won’t be able to play a sound.

    If the unknown accessory is an AirTag and you have a supported iPhone model with Ultra Wideband, you can also tap Find Nearby to use Precision Finding to help you locate the unknown AirTag.

    Tap the alert.
    Tap Continue, then tap Find Nearby.
    Follow the onscreen instructions and move around the space until your iPhone connects to the unknown AirTag.
    Your iPhone displays the distance and direction to the unknown AirTag. Use that information to get closer to the unknown AirTag until you find it.
    When the AirTag is within Bluetooth range of your iPhone, you can play a sound on the AirTag by tapping the Play Sound button .
    If your iPhone says that more light is required, tap the Turn Flashlight On button .
    When you’re done, tap the Done button .
    If the option to play a sound isn’t available or you’re unable to hear the sound, or if you can’t locate the item with Precision Finding, and you believe the item is still with you, look through your belongings to try to find it. Check on your person, or in anything in your possession that could contain this device. It could be in an item that you don’t check often, like a jacket pocket, the outer compartment of a bag, or your vehicle. If you can’t find the device and if you feel your safety is at risk, go to a safe public location and contact law enforcement

    I’m invested in this. Let’s get an update.

  29. That’s absolutely psychotic. That would fuck with me SO HARD. He has no respect for you and he doesn’t trust you. This is not someone you should be investing any time into. Literally RUN. I’d suggest you change your locks to and check your home for hidden cameras.

  30. You could plan a route to drive around your city spelling rude words on the streets.

  31. Seems like he could be projecting onto you and he’s not who he is portraying himself to be. I wouldn’t trust that he’s not doing something sketchy when he’s not with you. Don’t mess around, I think you should get out of the relationship immediately. When he’s back in town, have a friend with you and tell him that it’s over and to remove the air tag immediately and watch him get it out of your car – if he doesn’t, I’d contact your police department.

  32. Girl, I’m so sorry, this is very serious.

    The AirTag will start chirping on its own after being separated from its owner for 24 hours. You can hear the sound it will make in this video: https://youtu.be/c0TVHPHRjXg

    The video also implies that if you go on the Find My app on your own phone, you will be able to make it beep as well. That could help you find it.

    Look, reading this thread you are getting a lot of advice to “just talk to him” but I think in this case you have to really watch for yourself. This is insanity this man could be very dangerous. What are the chances this is just a misunderstanding and it just fell in your car? he wouldn’t bring it up???? I also think he is extremely likely to gaslight you and lie through his teeth about it. You have to protect yourself: try to find it asap, involve your brother if you trust him, involve the police if need be. Plan the break up to be as safe as possible:public spaces, trusted allies, all of that jazz. Someone tracking you against your will is not mentally stable, this is not someone you can reason with.

    Please be safe, wishing you luck

  33. Just ask him where he put it… while you give him a good serve about privacy and trust. After you have destroyed it … dump his ass.

  35. Those things are small and can be very easily hidden depending on the vehicle make and model. They can hide in all kinds of places that you would never imagine. Former service manager here and might be able to help you some. Also if he was ever in possession of your keys then you should check your keys and the remote depending on the size of your fob. On a side note try going places without your car to see if you continue to get the notifications. Ride with a friend somewhere even if it’s to circle the block or go to a gas station and back.

    On a side note I had went out to a club on night with my cousin. Took my vehicle and after I dropped him off at his home I started getting notifications about a AirTag. I called him and his had fell out of his pocket. He kept it in his wallet and it fell out paying for the tab and he stuck it in his pocket (watched it happen so I knew it was true). We had to take the seat apart to get it dislodge from the plastic side panel to get it back out. So even with moving everything it doesn’t always mean that it will just fall out. Just some things to keep in mind.

  37. Looking at your Reddit history, I hope you use this incident as a sign to get some therapy and work on resetting the part of you that finds a man appropriate to date. This is yet another insecure, fucked up dude who would have likely sucked you into another abusive relationship.

    Your post and updates are all “how do I find it” and not “I called him and ended the relationship because he’s toxic as fuck.” Please know that he is, it’s horrible, and you should, especially since he’s out of town and can’t come after you for a while.

    Please get yourself safe and then get some help. Best of luck to you.

  38. Drive to the local police station then tell your boyfriend that an Airtag was found in your car and the police are working on tracing it back to the person responsible (you have to play dumb doing this) and that when they find him, you’ll be pressing charges. See how he reacts to that.

  39. We have a domestic violence group who find trackers for woman see if you have one In your country ours is called safe steps.

  40. You should be able to tap the notification and see details about it such as the serial number and the last 4 numbers of the person who registered it. That way you can at least have definitive proof it was him. [Here is the support site that helps with this](https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT212227)

  41. Call him. Tell him you know that he put an AirTag and got him to reveal where he put or else you’ll call the police and have them find it.

  42. You’ve been dating on and off…. for six months?

    Already at that point it didn’t sound healthy…..

  43. He didn’t ask to share locations because he’s shady as shit and that would mean YOU would know where HE is all the time as well. Can’t have that.🤔 I’m so invested in this🤦‍♀️

  44. I love how all of these comments are talking about what a crazy psychotic murderous psychopath the dude is for putting an airtag in her car, but only one person managed to bring up the possibility that the dude could’ve dropped it in the car and forgot.

    Crazy world. I hope it’s just an accident and a relationship doesn’t get destroyed over a misunderstanding.

    EDIT: And after reading the newest update and that he admitted to it, I’d say to OP just dump him. You may like him, but it doesn’t scream healthy relationship when the guy admits to it after lying about it for 15 minutes and then I’m guessing lying about where it is. But I’d say look *inside* the seats. He might’ve found a seam.

  45. Listen. Yall been dating “on and off” already and it’s only been 6 months and he pulled this? Just break up with this loser.

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