The wife and I have been married for over 15 years. She has a super attachment to a sport and a coach that coaches one of our kids. The coach writes her privately and says thinks such as happy birthday etc. I feel it adds to emotional cheating even if she doesn’t feel that way. I got chastised for making my feelings known and told to leave it alone and trust her. I trust her , it’s the man I don’t trust, coming from I know how me think in that situation do I have a reason to worry? Or am I just overreacting?
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Wishing someone happy birthday is harmless. Are they having full blown conversations all the time? It’s ok for people to have friends and occasional conversations. That isn’t emotional cheating. If she’s unavailable to you and seems to be spending more time there, this would be a different situation. Why don’t you all hang out together to see what’s up?
You should worry if the time spent texting with him becomes excessive or secretive. Or if she is confiding in him things of a personal nature that makes you uncomfortable. A simple Happy Birthday and that kind of small talk seems pretty benign, if that’s all it is. No worries with her just being friendly.
I always get concerned when a person aggressively discounts their spouse’s concerns and shuts down the conversation with, “Trust me.” As if that’s the only factor to consider. In way too many stories and posts does that seem to be the beginning of or a cover-up of an emotional affair.
It’s the part about the complete disregard of concerns, getting defensive, and being indignant that the concerned spouse would dare say anything or interfere.
Definitely no proof here based on what you’re saying, but I certainly see a red flag.
You need to really get to the bottom of this .
Don’t be afraid or you are enabling her behaviour.
Don’t accept such disrespect
Why is he writing her privately? How does he even know when her bday is? Like what’s really going on
It is cheating all right.
Based on the little you say, it’s hard to tell whether she is crossing boundaries or if your jealousy is irrational.
I think there is more to this story.
That just sounds like a coach being a great coach, perhaps building business and going above and beyond. How many others have wished her a HB that you never noticed and dissected? I want someone like that in my life, and wouldn’t notice if they looked like a troll. She has earned your trust. Let another male be in her corner without being jealous. If you are that concerned, then offer her more support in the sport and express your pride in her accomplishments. If she opens up vs shutting down you will have your answer and hopefully bond in a new way you didn’t connect before.
Has she given you a reason to not trust her?
Dude, taking a look at your profile you’re the one who’s been cheating. Am I wrong?
Dude you rate nude bodies on Reddit. You don’t consider that cheating, but a happy birthday text is a problem? The problem is you.