Last night I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across a video posted by one of my co-workers. This co-worker is a gay man who’s friends with a girl at work whom I’ve been meaning to ask out. But in this video posted, the gay guy was out to eat sitting next to my crush and my crush kissed him on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.
That video sent me into a panic. My crush was clearly getting intimate with this gay guy and I’m trying to work out what it means. This guy is very active on social media and all signs point to him having a boyfriend. So why did my crush kiss him and rest on him like that? Is it different because he’s gay? Should I be worried about something going on between him and my crush? I’m freaking out and I don’t know what to make of it.
tldr: Video of my crush getting affectionate with a gay guy.
42 comments
Whoa dude. Whoa.
If this is how you view gay people, be careful crushing on someone who has one as a best friend.
Yes, many women feel safe with gay men because they don’t act like possessive weirdos and we can show affection without it going further. It’s a really nice feeling.
If you don’t want her to be affectionate with her gay friend, find another crush.
It’s different because he’s gay. It’s a thing.
It also could be more but doesn’t sound like it from over here.
Relax. Ask her to coffee. Heck ask them both if they want to grab a coffee sometime.
In this situation, it could be that your co-worker and your crush are simply good friends who are comfortable showing physical affection towards each other. It’s possible that the kiss on the cheek and the physical intimacy in the video was just a sign of their close friendship and nothing more.
It’s also possible that your co-worker is in an open relationship or has a partner who is comfortable with him having close, affectionate relationships with people of different genders.
Ultimately, you can’t judge someone from just one video.
I’m glad she’s just your crush because if you’re freaking out about her showing affection to anyone else and you’re not even dating her, I can only imagine how possessive you’d be if she was yours.
Also, you *shouldn’t* worry about something going on between him and your crush because what either of them do is none of your business.
She doesn’t belong to you, your input on what she does on her own time means nothing to either of them I’m sure, and it’s kind of borderline worrisome that you’re freaking out over *a crush* at 27yo.
The woman isn’t even your girlfriend and you’re controlling of her. She could post a video of her French kissing Chris Hemsworth and you’d have no right to be upset.
You understand she’s not your girlfriend and may never be right? It doesn’t matter why she did it. It doesn’t really concern you.
Nothing alarming going on here
It’s you, HI. You’re the problem, it’s you.
Omg calm tf down.
It’s not even your business in the first place.
Also…a kiss on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder…um, people do that to their grandmas too. There’s nothing intrinsically romantic or sexual in that.
You sound obsessive. You’re 27 and “freaking out” about this? Smh. Go to therapy. Do not pass go. Do not accept $200.
Hopefully she sees this and sees what a controlling creep you are. She’s not even your girlfriend and you’re freaking out bc she’s showing affection to someone else. My cousin has Down’s syndrome and we always take funny photos together and I give him hugs and he gives me a kiss on the cheek whenever he sees me.
Also who she hangs out with and what she does is none of your business because she isn’t your girlfriend and if she’s smart will never be.
Holy shit. You’re unwell. I had to double check the age and I’m hoping you’re overestimating because you do not sound 27. You sound 18. Also she is allowed to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. You need therapy and to possibly get out and socialize/date more.
And serious question what would you do if she already has a bf? Going to stalk her bc you sound like you are that unbalanced and would do something crazy. Cause this post alone is scary.
I’ve just had a bit of a skim through your post history and you’ve been stressing about asking this girl out for a long time. You also talk about being an introvert who spends a lot time on their own. As a fellow introvert who has spent significant amounts of time living that lifestyle, I don’t think that is a particularly healthy way to live. I would suggest you start getting out and about a bit more, try out some new hobbies, meet up with friends. For one thing that will make you spend less time worrying about the social media life of this girl, for another if you do ask her out and she says no you’ll have things to distract yourself with rather than wallowing, and you might also find yourself a bit less in your head overall.
Dude you’re freaking out about a GAY guy and a girl you’ve never talked to. This girl needs to find a guy like Jeff and get a restraining order on you. She can do way better then your crazy creepy stalker ass.
You might want to look into your reaction towards this instagram video. She is NOT your GF but your crush (you still havent asked her out). She can do whatever she wants, but have you thought about the fact that this might be just a friendly gesture and nothing more than that.
As a gay man myself, a lot of us gays will frequently have casual sex with the women in our orbit despite a lack of true romantic attraction. When you think about all the women out there with a gay best friend, that’s a relationship borne out of convenience where she can get some no-strings-attached satisfaction every once in a while to take the edge off.
So I would take comfort in the fact that this relationship you’re witnessing is unlikely to go anywhere romantically that will stand in the way of your own legitimate relationship with this woman, she’s likely just getting piped down by this guy and maybe his friends/boyfriend as a sort of stress relief exercise
Did you mean to write 17/m instead of 27/m? Because this reads like a high schooler posted it.
You’re a fucking psycho, holy shit, so pathetic
Your post history paints a picture of someone who has a lot of work to do on himself before he’ll be emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship
bro we the same age please don’t tell me you this down tremendous at almost 30
You’re a walking red flag buddy
It doesn’t matter if the friend is gay or straight, guy, girl, nb, queer. A woman can kiss somebody on the cheek and rest her head on their shoulder and it doesn’t mean anything sexual. And what’s more it has absolutely fuck all to do with you.
The only thing it means is that she’s a physically affectionate person with the people in her life.
Grow up.
Evicted, and willing to quit your job to pursue this coworker. You need to take a step back, I get your desperate from never dating a woman, but damn man.
You are a creep.
You don’t own this woman, she can do what she pleases.
Also the barely restrained homophobia coming from you is nasty.
Ask her out or don’t ask her out. What she does with her friend has nothing to do with you since you’re not even dating. Don’t be so dramatic.
You need therapy, or something.
You posted previously that a girl you weren’t dating was “stolen” from you and now you’re upset that a girl you also aren’t dating showed affection to her friend. You don’t own women, especially when you don’t even have a relationship with them.
Even if he wasn’t gay, women are allowed to show affection for their friends. This includes hugs and kisses on the cheek. If that’s such an issue for you, then dating isn’t something you should be doing until you learn to respect the autonomy of other people.
What and I can’t stress this enough the fcuk. She IS NOT your girlfriend, she IS NOT your property, whatever she does is her business not yours and honestly if you are this aggy over her behaviour with a gay man she should swerve you like the plague. You my friend are a walking talking red flag.
Your crush is allowed to kiss, hug, sleep, and have orgies with 29478273 men if she wants to. She’s not your girlfriend or your wife. You need to get over this creepy obsession.
Uh my dude this is unhealthy af leave that woman alone
Please get some help and leave women alone in the meantime
A kiss on the cheek is nothing….
Omg dude you are so creepy.
You sound like a stalker.
You cannot seriously be 27 years old and freaking out about this. This is 13 year old boy behavior. You’re too immature to date if this is how you react to something so completely innocuous.
Target guy! Where is he working now?
No way you’re 27 and still acting like an insecure touch starved 15 year old. This was all types of not normal
Don’t ask her out. Do some growing up first. Because you sound like a child
Delusional. Seek help, I am afraid you’re ending up a stalker or even worse. I am very concerned for your co-worker.
You scare me. A lot. I’m debating getting a protective order against you, and I don’t even know you.
Oh my God just looked through your post history and please get therapy. Also leave her alone, no woman wants a guy who complains about his crush being ‘stolen’ by another guy and screams at 4 year olds about cookies.
Is this the Crumbl cookie guy? He’s taking a break from screaming at children to obsess over a girl that doesn’t want him again. Dude, get some hobbies, seriously.
Oh jesus fucking christ dude. First of, a kiss on the cheek means nothing, depending on where you live its a common friendly gesture, second, shes not your girlfriend, calm your tits