So I (F 23) have been with my boyfriend (M 27) for over 2 years. When we first started dating, I told him right from the start I don’t want to date for 4 or 5+ years. I want to get engaged and get married and start a family when I am still young. He also wants kids and he never said anything about getting engaged or married young. We both live at home but are looking for houses. We wanted to wait for the prices to go down before we buy one. We were talking yesterday and I told him that when we buy a house. I want to get engaged shortly after. I want us to live together knowing he wants to marry me and have a future with me. He then said well there’s a few things that scare me about marrying you. He went on to say he doesn’t know if he can marry me because I don’t have a good relationship with my parents, he’s worried about my anxiety and depression. And then he said he can’t marry me because I’m not religious and do not believe in anything. We have been together for 2 years and he has known I have never been religious in any way, shape, or form. He has never said anything about it. He isn’t super religious. He wants out kids baptized and I said fine but I want nothing to do with church. Now he’s saying because I’m not religious and I don’t believe in things like the after life, or reincarnation that he can’t marry me. I need help and advice.
8 comments
He told you he doesn’t want to marry you. Do all the reasons really matter? I’m really sorry.
Sorry to hear
Your bf has commitment issues and will nitpick you to justify his lack of commitment. If you want to be married, you’re going to have to break up with him, and find someone who is willing and available for commitment. This is a dead-end relationship. Choose yourself.
You guys are fundamentally incompatible. Some things are dealbreakers. It sucks, and it hurts, but this relationship isn’t going to work.
>Boyfriend (27 M) won’t marry me (23 f) because I’m not religious submitted by SuspiciousAccess5411
>So I (F 23) have been with my boyfriend (M 27) for over 2 years. When we first started dating, I told him right from the start I don’t want to date for 4 or 5+ years. I want to get engaged and get married and start a family when I am still young. He also wants kids and he never said anything about getting engaged or married young. We both live at home but are looking for houses. We wanted to wait for the prices to go down before we buy one. We were talking yesterday and I told him that when we buy a house. I want to get engaged shortly after. I want us to live together knowing he wants to marry me and have a future with me. He then said well there’s a few things that scare me about marrying you. He went on to say he doesn’t know if he can marry me because I don’t have a good relationship with my parents, he’s worried about my anxiety and depression. And then he said he can’t marry me because I’m not religious and do not believe in anything. We have been together for 2 years and he has known I have never been religious in any way, shape, or form. He has never said anything about it. He isn’t super religious. He wants out kids baptized and I said fine but I want nothing to do with church. Now he’s saying because I’m not religious and I don’t believe in things like the after life, or reincarnation that he can’t marry me. I need help and advice.
He doesn’t want to marry you. The reasons don’t matter. Whether it’s that you don’t have the kind of relationship with your parents that he thinks you should have, that you don’t have the kind of mental health he thinks you should have, or that you don’t have the kind of religious beliefs he thinks you should have — bottom line, he doesn’t want to marry you. He’s allowed to decide that.
I am sorry, but I see no way forward in this relationship.
He’s not the one. Better you found out now.
He’s the problem.
All of his reasons are valid reasons for ending a relationship.
None of them are valid reasons for stringing someone along.
Leave him.
He told you that he doesn’t want to marry you because you aren’t in his religious cult.
My advice is to break up and find someone who isn’t in a religious cult and wants to marry you for the wonderful person you are.