Apparently “do whatever you want to me” actually means “I want you to read my mind and dominate me in a specific way that I like.”
I’m a burly 6’8 bearded tatted dude. Women assume I’m this rough daddy dom or something. But I’m a teddy bear. If you tell me I can do whatever I want I will cuddle you, eat you out, give you a massage, finger you, make out, etc. But this often disappoints women who say this to me who apparently expected me to know that “do whatever you want” meant “choke me” “spank me” and “call me a whore.”
This might be a specific to me problem but it’s come up enough that I just find it odd. It’s cool if you want a spanking but just say that! I can’t read your mind. I don’t want to slap you I want to hug you. Sigh
17 comments
I’ve learned that when women say “You can do whatever you want to me” it is their way of saying they like it rough… because when they say that they are opening the doors to rough territory which is usually something off limits….
so when they say that and you go gentle, it’s not what they expect and are let down… but if gentle is what you like, you just gotta find someone who also likes it
I love a good cuddle. I think there are other women out there who do as well.
My advice is to ask them exactly what they mean, flat out ask them if they’re saying they like it rough, or if they truly mean anything. Then tell them that you’re a cuddler, that you mean to be gentle and affectionate.
No, that’s a them problem. People need to accept that if they don’t clearly communicate what they want, they get what they ask for.
I’ve gotten used to being told I just need to learn to read minds
Preach on preacher…I have a resting “I will murder you and everyone you know” face…there was a time there all the attention I got were from subs…I even dated a professional sub during this time…sometimes a man just needs to cuddle while watching law and order.
Well everything you described doing sounds amazing to me! So I am sure many women would love that…
people have just gotta be better at communicating. i like choking and rough play but would be instantly terrified if a dude decided to choke me without me actually saying i like that out loud. All the things you mentioned sound amazing tho so im sure some women would be happy with that 😇
I think the phrase is sort of a hint that they want to be made to feel feel vulnerable and taken advantage of. women do like what you are offering but maybe not at that time. You know what they mean, in general, everyone is different.
Some do not want to say it out loud because they want to be taken, not participate in the plan. Some may even want CNC (consensual, non consent). It can get confusing and risky because you are venturing into an area that could be construed as force.
If you are not comfortable with it, don’t do it.
As someone who have/had said the same thing before, I think it’s mean ‘I like it rough and you push to my limits or over and see how I react?’. I’ve learnt to voice my opinions out now but earlier I did expect the guy to everything I like or I’m into. There’s thing where I find it really attractive or feel like makes me interested about him if he take a guess or knows how to please me.
I wish I knew you! Love tall tatted burly men, love all the stuff you say you life to do, probably would be totally into you…
I saw a comic:
(Recently summoned succubus in a demon summoning circle) “Greetings, Master! I’m here to fulfill your every command and desire.”
(Disappointed, paint-splattered succubus painting Warhammer 40k miniatures with her geeky master.)
Just to say, this would be such a refreshing surprise to me and I’d absolutely love all of it! 💖
Learn womanese
>you can do whatever you want to me
It makes sense if you interpret this as:
“Please do whatever you want to me, *what would otherwise be out of bounds”*
So yeah sadly no cuddling and massages…
If you’re also a mechanic and answer to rabbit, get off Reddit and get back over here where you belong. If not, good to know there are two of you in the world <3
My main advice on this is that if a chick wants you to be a dom and/or be rough, you aren’t compatabile sexually, and should probably date someone else. I am dominant, so its not an issue for me. I have had issues with a girl who wanted pure vanilla. Needless to say it didn’t work out in the end. Now I’m talking to a chick who likes me to dom. And so far things are much better. All I can say.
What you’re offering sounds like heaven to me! I would be surprised in a very good way if my SO would do that instead of going rough. They need to communicate clearer to you what they want and that it’s roughness or domination that they want.