A bit of a rant. A coworker I pass by on occasion and engaged in small talk a few times said we should hang.
We get around to talking and I find out he’s been strictly going to work and going home and doesn’t have much of a social life. No judgement here, I was much the same not long ago.
Well he invites me out…to a Meetup for people to mingle and get to meet new faces. We meet each other there and I feel a bit overwhelmed honestly. I talk to some people and even him a little. But he seemed more interested in meeting the others. I bowed out after maybe an hour.
I guess it would’ve been nice to get to know him a little better one on one. Instead I feel a bit used – having a “friend” (using that term loosely) made him confident to seek out a social gathering. He doesn’t reach out anymore and we just kind of give a friendly nod to each other around the office.
He still goes to those meetups and has met some cool people from the sound of it. All kick-started by using me it feels.
3 comments
I think you over thought this situation. I think he was trying to get both of you out, not “use” you as a prop.
He is probably more distant because he may feel like his attempt with socializing with you was a fail and you didn’t like going out with him. You stated that you were overwhelmed and sometimes people misread those feelings. I know this because I get overwhelmed easily.
This is how you make friends, OP. Talking to several people until you fine the ones who can be more similar to you.
You should enjoy more and overthink less. Your coworker seem like a very sweet person, not using in any case.
I don’t think it’s that deep. Meeting new people when you’re alone can feel very intimidating, he just wanted a friend to be social with.