I 18m really like this girl but need help understanding a few things. My friend 19f I will call her Amanda for this story just incase any of my real life friends find this and for privacy. Amanda and I have been friends for 2 years and I have always liked her. Not for the entire 2 years though only like twice before all of this all started. All of our friends say me and Amanda would be “perfect” or we’d be “cute” together and I agree but the one problem stopping us is communication. Amanda isn’t the best at communicating and it is starting to get annoying honestly. I’ve tried to be patient but all I’m getting is these mixed signals. I would ask her about a potential relationship and she would tell me she doesn’t want one right now but then in lunch the only class we have in school she is all over me. She would completely bomb me with attention and make me forget how annoyed I am or even make my day better. I honestly am just starting to feel used and I’m tired of feeling like this. Once before I requested a break and she would tell me things like “please don’t leave we can talk about it” and when I did she would just rip into me about how I shouldn’t go and how l’m just running away from her and bring up personal things that I will not say here just to use against me. I really like this girl but with everything now I feel like I just opened my eyes and I honestly don’t want her anymore because of how she is acting. Amanda is perfect in every other way and I would really love a relationship with her but if she is going to be like this I just can’t anymore. I never had a genuine relationship before and I don’t know if I want one with her. So if you took the time to read this I thank you and if you could leave anything to help me that would be much appreciated.
tl:dr: I like this girl but she is really bad a communicating and it’s stressing me out if you have advice for what to do that would be helpful for me.
3 comments
It seems like you’ve tried to communicate with her about your feelings, but it’s not working out. It’s important to understand that you deserve to be with someone who is on the same page as you and communicates effectively. If this girl can’t or won’t improve her communication skills, it’s better to look for someone who can. I know it’s hard to let go of someone you like, but it’s better to walk away from a situation that’s not working than to stay and be unhappy.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and supports you, not someone who uses you or makes you feel stressed and frustrated. Remember, you’re worth it!
She thinks she has you for granted. Dont reward her behaviour.
You have two options:
1 – dont play games and forget her. Find someone who is serious.
2- play the game:
Ghost her and make her miss you. Set a defined date like 1 week or 2, and only reach out to her after that. Think of this like a reset.
Disresgard all her moves. Ignore her. Be strong. Talk to other girls. Make her believe that you are truly over her. That she lost you because she played all these games.
Then initiate contact after the day comes, start progressively flirting with her again, but never admit that you like her. Let her chase you. Only reciprocate what she shows you. Take the initiative here and there, keep her guessing. Be unpredictable. Let things happen.
If that doesnt work, move on. She only wanted your attention and validation.
People will never change. That’s the way she is. You don’t like it. You don’t want to change for her (and you shouldn’t tbh). So, the answer is… (drumroll)