I am a male and i had sex a day ago (firdt time for me) with a girl Im dating with for a few weeks now. I have some questions, because im a bit freaked out. She told me that condom hurts for her, and pill make her sick, so she asked me to make sex with “pull out” method ( yep … i know i am stupid for doing that)
Well during sex I never came, barely felt anything. It surprised even me. At one pont I actually got bored, and just did what she asked until I got too tired.
But after I was sorting my clothes I noticed litle whiteish spots in my underwear. I am sure that i didnt came, but before sex she did some grinding and it felt good.
What im afraid of that i had some kind of a pre-cum and did not notice it, and then I penetrated her as she asked, without condom (yes … i am stupid) and this might be able to get her pregnant.
Of course i am also talking with her about this, but i am freaking out … so pls help me internet!
36 comments
Start planning the baby shower
You had unprotected sex, and unplanned pregnancy is a risk of unprotected sex. Hopefully it’s fine, but there’s no excuse to not use some form of protection moving forward.
Honestly, if you didn’t ejaculate and didn’t masturbate before having sex, it’s unlikely she’ll get pregnant. We’re the “whitish” spots on the inside or outside of your underwear?
Well. Unprotected is always a bad idea. I always freak out the next 25 days until I get my next cycle. Also, though they are very less chances of her getting pregnant, don’t do anything stupid or stress yourself out. Ask her about her periods and keep notes of it. And check on her when her periods arrive. And you can ask her to get a pregnancy test done after 10-15 days. Her HCG levels would be high if she is and the tester will turn into two lines. If not, you guys are not pregnant and don’t do this again. Be careful next, ciao
Look up withdrawal method in [plannedparenthood.com](https://plannedparenthood.com). It’s a lot better information than what you’ll get from a bunch of redditors.
Wait, did you wipe yours after the sex? Or you immediately wears back your underwear? If not, probably it’s her orgasm and not yours. And you said, she did some grinding right? That’s probably it.
If you masturbate a lot you’ve probably got a bit of a death grip problem, and you are used to constantly changing porn etc so your brain is gunna get bored with actual real life.
Re pulling out, it isn’t safe, I would let the girl know you’re worried and you’re happy to pay for plan b noe or a pregnancy test in 3 weeks time. There is always a risk from pre cum. I’m sure it’s fine but I wouldn’t take the risk again.
There’s also the obvious risk of stds. So wrap it up or no sex is probably the best bet! Next time just say I’m not happy to have unprotected sex, and stop having sex in that moment. Your body is just as important.
Encourage her to take the pill this one time and offer to pay for it.
Tell her that even though you know it makes her sick that it would put your mind at ease and you’ll take care of her all day if she ends up feeling under the weather.
Then, don’t let this happen again. Use protection or encourage her to get on birth control next time.
The myth of coitus interruptus never fails to fool people. As much of a pain as it is, **you really need to keep appropriately sized condoms around when they’re needed.**
If she has had other partners, has she been tested since her last partner?
You’re risking STI’s and pregnancy
for next time, there’s no way that a condom would be painful for her if used correctly. she could be allergic to latex. in which case, there are latex free condoms available.
This sounds like someone trying to babytrap you… Are you rich or something? Because there is no reason to not use a condom. If you get too dry, use lube. If you’re allergic, use a latex-free one. And for birth control there are so many more options than just the pill, it sounds really weird that she’s not on something if she’s sexually active without condoms. Let alone the risk of STIs.
The pull-out method is a bad idea in my opinion, but you’ll have to live with your own choices. In the moment if you’re uncertain, she should take a morning after pill. Only way to make sure. Be sure to inform her of the risks and side-effects though.
You want to be a daddy? Because this is how you be a daddy
please be proactive about this and always stay protected
i have gotten pregnant from precum, it is ver much real and possible and not a myth
Most likely you had some precum on your dick and still in your urethra it’s why your told to pee after sex also UTIs. The pull out method is the dumbest thing ever at least one or two forms of contraception should be used. With condoms maybe it’s the lack of lube or she may be allergic to latex so try a different kind and with the pill she should consult a doctor. As the pill comes in different types using different hormones at different dosages and if she can’t use any hormonal contraceptive she could get the copper coil. Not only did you risk pregnancy you risked an STI I’d start educating myself right now if I where you.
The pullout method can work. However it’s not 100% effective. Maybe about 80%. If you are going to continue with the pull out method. Pair it up with a spermicidal lubricant, contraceptive film, spermicide suppository, contraceptive gel or birth control sponge.
Biggest takeaway-you didn’t feel anything AND you got bored, maybe girls aren’t for you.
If you did not cum in her, you will not get her pregnant. For some reason, people have a ridiculously hard time accepting this truth and worry unnecessarily.
Hello,
I am the pull out King and am not willing to give up my title.
Always suit up my friend!
Till we meet again
Let’s us all pray she wasn’t ovulating. That sounds risky for sure unless either or both of you have taken some preventative caution. Some examples are the pill for her OR daily/weekly 10-20 min sauna/steam room session for you will eventually keep you infertile until you refrain from sauna/steam room/hot tub for 6 months. That’s the amount of time it takes to regain potency down there
Why do condoms hurt for her? Is this a case of her needing non latex condoms or more lube, because that’s a really easy fix if so. Like, you have options.
Also, like, dude. Plenty of folks have swimmers in their pre cum. This is the main reason why people tell you not to use the pull out method.
Get her plan b and actually sit down and figure out birth control options. Like, you kinda need to be a grown adult about this, not just blame her since she’s more experienced and should know better (and she should, but this is also your body too, dude).
Skip the next few purchases you want to make and get a fucking reversable vasectomy
congrats!
I obviously can’t say for certain but it’s possible whatever white spot was in your underwear was from her if you didn’t clean up afterwards.
Don’t beat yourself up too much. The first time I had sex, I also was convinced to not use a condom because she said they hurt her and I was too inexperienced and nervous to assert myself. I also didn’t feel much or cum because I was really in my head – I was terrified, nervous, worried I wouldn’t be good at it, wondering what it was meant to actually feel like, if she was feeling good, if I would get her pregnant and when I should pull out, etc. Thing is you aren’t mentally calm and focused, sex can easily become a struggle to connect with. With my experience, I didn’t get her pregnant but well, I did get a curable sti (chlamydia) from her. So pregnancy isn’t the only reason you should be wearing protection.
If you feel like you didn’t even come close to having an orgasm, you probably didn’t even have precum. Unfortunately all you can do now is ask her to take a plan b (pay for it) if she will agree to that and wait it out. Obviously in the future use a condom, your own condom and make sure it’s in good condition. For me, unless I’m in a relationship with someone I trust, who I know is on birth control and doesn’t have any STIs, I won’t go without a condom. Even then, you should have a conversation about what you will do if she does get pregnant before going down that road. Good luck.
The chances are low, but never zero
She should try non-latex condoms
Don’t be silly , wrap your willie
>What im afraid of that i had some kind of a pre-cum and did not notice it, and then I penetrated her as she asked, without condom (yes … i am stupid) and this might be able to get her pregnant.
To this point, everyone has pre-cum. Pre-cum can get people pregnant. The amount of people who say the pull out method is safe is just too high.
Pull-out method has a 96% effectiveness rate when done perfectly. That *perfectly* is important because it often isn’t done that way. 96% sounds good, but remember that means that out of every 100 couples doing pull-out, 4 can get pregnant. In typical use, the statistics for pull-out range from 75-80% effectiveness.
That being said, pull-out does not protect anyone from any STIs or STDs.
>I am a male and i had sex a day ago (firdt time for me) with a girl Im dating with for a few weeks now. I have some questions, because im a bit freaked out. She told me that condom hurts for her, and pill make her sick, so she asked me to make sex with “pull out” method ( yep … i know i am stupid for doing that)
Personally, I would be at issue with this. You’ve been dating for a few weeks and I’m guessing you may have known each other for a bit first. That being said, do you know she has a clean bill of health? Do you know if she had any STIs or STDs?
>But after I was sorting my clothes I noticed litle whiteish spots in my underwear. I am sure that i didnt came, but before sex she did some grinding and it felt good.
One thing the spots may be is from her too. Women get *wet* when aroused and the vagina lubricates itself. For some women this lubrication can be nearly white in color. If you’re thrusting away, your penis will pick this lubricant up too. It’s completely normal.
Sex is a little bit messy and that’s part of the fun. You either had vaginally fluids on your dick which left residue on your drawers or you had pre-cum which leaked out into your underwear.
All of that being said, consider another method of sexual health and safety than just the pull-out method. For the two of you both, it can be a risky situation. Secondly, are you both monogamous and clean. If not, then there may be another reason for condoms to remain safe.
Get some plan b
Hard to say. Could definitely be precum, which can carry semen. Can she take some Plan B, just in case?
For the future, I wouldn’t use pullout. I think it’s an appropriate method for committed, monogamous couples in which the penis-haver has excellent control, and who are on the same page about their reproductive future. E.g., if we get pregnant, no biggie, we were planning to have kids eventually anyway. Or, oops, you didn’t pull out in time, let’s go get some Plan B.
But what I’m getting at is, I think it’s a great method, but only for a very specific subset of people. For casual partners, new partners, FWBs, people whose STI status you don’t know, people whose reproductive plans aren’t aligned, people who can’t afford to accidentally become a parent, people who are childfree but don’t want a vasectomy, all of those people need more protection than the pullout method can offer, imo. I’d consider an insistence on using this method, in the absence of a committed relationship where both parties are super aligned, to be a dealbreaker.
The pre-cum to busted condom baby ratio is the great mysterious data point I doubt anyone knows.
Well always try not to freak out. I am one that was allergic to latex and very sensitive to all the rest that were out there at that time. I know there is a lot more out there to choose from now so definitely try different condoms. I would not suggest the pull out method unless you are open to pregnancy or possibly STD in the future
Unwrapped penis is kinda like a gun: don’t point it at anyone you don’t want to impregnate (unless she’s on the pill, but both is best).
this is crazy because the exact same thing happened to me the first time I lost my virginity and I ended up with a really bad STD. She convinced me she was allergic to condoms (idk why I believed her) so I used the pull out method. Couple of weeks later I started getting rashes on my junk and had the most painful piss of my life. I didn’t connect the dots and months went by until finally my aunt told me it could be an STD. She was right when I got it checked it came positive for Herpes. NEVER touch a girl without a condom, a lot of the time people have bad intentions and they lie.
Yeah you should check out the FAQ for the sub and read there, there’s a whole section on pregnancy risk. You should also really be thinking about the risks of STIs. Not all of them are curable and it would suck for the first time to leave you with a permanent STI you need to explain to every future partner.
Something like HPV can also be incredibly hard for men to test positive for even if they have it, and (depending on the strain) can lead to cervical cancer if transmitted to the partner. It can also transmit to the child during pregnancy/birth if the mother has it
Do not “make sex” (I said that in a Borat voice) without a condom with someone you don’t want to impregnate. Lord help you lol.