At what point or where does the line lie where a relationship goes from a healthy place of growing with your partner to a place of you having a savior complex?
We all have baggage, trauma, pasts, so it is unreasonable to think that a relationship must be perfect. If you learn over the course of dating someone that they have a lot of trauma that inhibits them from having a healthy relationship with you, do you stick around and work with them to fix that? is it your responsibility to help them fix it or just be supportive and encourage that change? is it unreasonable for you to leave because of their trauma?
what if they know that they have trauma, truthfully acknowledge their trauma, but they have not taken the steps to properly deal with it (such as seeing a therapist), would it be unreasonable to leave because of that?
if they make an argument that you should want to grow with them, is this manipulative? or is the whole point of a *healthy* relationship is to stick with them through their troubles and stay with them because of how you feel about them?
1 comment
I had to learn these lessons the hard way: 1) It is never your responsibility to fix anybody and it is always ok to leave. 2) Don’t waste your effort supporting people who don’t want to save themselves, it will mentally drain you, but it won’t achieve anything, because you cannot do the work for them. 3) If they use their issues as a shield against criticism or a weapon to manipulate and guilt trip you, it’s best to walk away, some people don’t heal, they weaponize their issues instead. 4) If their needs exceed what they’re willing to give, it’s best to walk away, cause it will take a toll on you.