How has your relationship with your father impacted who you are today?

18 comments

1. My father was always at work when I was much younger thus didn’t have much time for us. I still appreciate what he did to bring food on the table. But when i became a father, i made sure to give my kids all the time i could.

2. My father was abusive both verbally and physically then left when I was about 10.

   I long for the acceptance from a father. Anytime I see a father and son bonding I’ll tear up. I just want my to hear a father say “I’m proud of you son”.

   I know if I have a child of my own I will give them the world, they will never have to wonder if I’m proud of them.

3. My father was fine, but uninvolved in my and my sister’s lives for the most part. He went to work, came home, and did what he felt like doing and didn’t really try to spend any quality time.

   I have a daughter, and I go out of my way to be the exact opposite of that.

4. I’d say about 40%. I’ll never lie to someone about something important; I’ll always try to do my best, and I’m not afraid of saying “I don’t know” about any topic. All these I learned from him.

   I also had a bunch of trauma I learned from my mom and ex girlfriends, so that’s a big impact on me as well.

5. I am who I am because of my Dad. He was a great man that loved my mother, loved me and my siblings, worked hard, played hard and live a good life until 93 Yeats old. I miss him.

6. I thrive to be the opposite of him in every conceivable way. He contributed a lot to my lack of interest in drinking alcohol and in a way I feel like my attitude towards children is also in some way thanks to him. Knowing how it feels when an adult is a constant disappointment, I really want to pay attention and be there for them if they need me.

7. My father was emotionally unavailable and only told me he loved me when he was wasted.

   I have made it a point to always talk to my children about their feelings and I also tell them I love them every chance I get.

8. I strive to become like him. My father is a family man. He always spent as much time as he could with us. He was also a businessman, and he taught me everything I know about finances and investing.

9. A lot. People keep joking I am basically younger version of him. Before it was just looks, although nowadays it’s also behaviour.

10. I ended up me, so basically it did exactly what it was suppose to do.

11. My father was extremely abusive, both physically and emotionally. He was a felon, and I saw a lot I shouldn’t have. But that suffering made me a stronger and better man, I’m now in the army, and a good husband and soon to be father myself, and I will not make the same mistakes

12. Dudes a bum, I did the opposite of everything he did with life and living well. Inverse your deadbeat dad, don’t follow in his footsteps.

13. My father was my superman. Always had time for me, always knew a solution for any problem i had. And even if he didn’t know something he would say: “i don’t know now, but give me some time, i will learn and help you”. When he was fired from a job he loved he became an alcohol addict, but not the violent one. He’d just drink and go to sleep.

    Today he’s a shadow of a man i remember. Not drinking anymore but addiction took heavy toll on his physical and mental health.

    Back to the question- i try my best to be my superman dad…and i’m 100% abstinent (also my wife is).

14. I don’t drink.

15. My dad is a great father. He’s an intelligent man, who was often top of his grade in our home country. But as a father he was caring, attentive, and patience.

    His parenting approach (primarily patience) was opposite of my mom’s and I think that has shown me and my sister better ways to parent. Through respect rather than fear. He is also not the cliché traditional/conservative foreign father. The man is a sociologist so he very much understands human behavior to be so prejudice. And he’s very organized. I don’t think the man even knows the concept of procrastination.

    I’d say my common sense (which I now know not everyone has), interests in knowledge, organization, financial skills, patience, and robot like persona (as I’ve been told) come from my father.

16. I developed a very real anxiety that nothing else I could do mattered, beyond just working and making money.

17. My father wasn’t around when I was a kid. When I was 5, he switched to working nights, I never saw him. He has always been elusive and selfish. He never spent any time with me and never had a deep conversation with me. As a result, I never knew how to approach girls/women. I had crushes but never a girlfriend. I married the first girl had sex with and now I can’t stand to be in the same room as her.

18. I write memoirs on autism and sexuality largely because of my parents and their lack of understanding with autism and being gay.

    Yeah it’s hard for people but try something, and if that thing didn’t work, then try another thing. Don’t live in anger and denial.

    My parents were nice enough people, smart, successful with their jobs, but when it came to raising kids were pretty mentally lazy, and thought everything could be put off years and years.

    In their defense they had 4 boys close together, with the oldest brother needing attention 100% of the time. But sometimes that won’t cut it. Take a kid, have one on one time, just go out. Ask them how they are. Ask what we can do differently. Find ways to apologize and adapt.