I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for about 2 years. Our relationship is 95% amazing. I love this girl, she loves me and we we do everything for each other.
I recently found that about 2 weeks into our relationship, her friend (drunk at the time) asked if she hooked up with her friend while they were at a show/club. She just replied “Shh haha”.
I asked her about this and she denied it completely saying he was drunk and tried to make a move but she pushed him away, she was trying to look cool to her friend. Her friend also completely vouches for this. I already know this is grey area, but would anyone else think of saying that?
I’ve only had one grey area issue with this girl before. We’re both previously big party people, Ive seen a video of her letting her bi friend and girlfriend do coke off her chest. I was on the fence about how I felt, but I settled with getting over it. She admitted she’s let people do it before our relationship, but only that time during. She also said the friend group (who I know and like), does this in general, and they’ve done lines off all the other girls too.
She’s genuinely a very truthful girl. She has a terrible guilty conscience and always tells me the truth if I ask, no matter how odd. I’m just having issues getting past this one. She barely parties anymore, and not at all without me there.
I know at the beginning of a relationship people sometimes are still cutting off old habits/people, and she’s genuinely removed anyone she’s had a history with from her life since we started.
I’m just having issues getting past it, anyone have advice or have similar experiences? I love this girl and she loves me.
TLDR: Girlfriend implied cheating years ago to her friend at the beginning, but denies it. Generally extremely forward and truthful with me. How would you proceed?
5 comments
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If I’m reading this right, you two were 22-23 when you started dating? I can easily see a guy in that age range trying to look “impressive” by claiming an interaction that never actually happened. I can also see a girl in a new relationship preferring to ignore it and not fight the lie thus avoiding the creation of drama in a new relationship.
Given how you say she has a guilty conscience, is open and honest, and denies anything happened, I’d lean towards taking her word on this. Plus, it was two years ago. If she herself hasn’t given you a reason to distrust her, let it go.
Personally, I would not let something that may or may not have happened within the first 2 weeks of a relationship (when really you are just getting to know each other) ruin an otherwise happy and healthy relationship.
If she has been faithful and honest (to the best of your knowledge) for the past 2 years, I would place more significance on that as “proof” that she’s capable of continuing that way than on a possible “blip” at the beginning.
What are you doing to manage your insecurity and anxiety? You’ve been posting and deleting this for days.
If you are asking I think you pretty much know the answer..,