I f***ed up. Big time.
Hi all, hope your well.
My story starts when I was 17 and got into a relationship with an abusive woman (physical and mental) who trapped my into having a child due to stopping contraception several months into the relationship without telling me.
As soon as she was pregnant, I did everything in the relationship, from paying bills, to housework, and I do mean everything.
Alongside the abuse, I though (naively) that I was doing the right thing taking care of her and the baby, after over a year of abuse I left our house and she stopped me seeing my son, I haven’t seen him for over 7 years now.
Fast forward to 2021 and I have a new glorious relationship with an amazing girl, one thing I didn’t mention was that past relationship and the child to begin with, she then fell pregnant with our now daughter.
1 year and 6 months into our relationship it was perfect, good job, nice house, beautiful family and then she found out I had a son (due to an old Instagram profile I have no access too).
I should have told her in the first instance I get that, but I didn’t. She fell pregnant and it became increasingly harder to telk her until it all came out in the end.
Now, by rights she says she will never be able to trust me again, and our whole relationship is based on a lie. We live together and I know she loves me.
What can I do?
3 comments
The ball is in her court. Totally. I am sure she has asked why you didn’t fight for your son. That certainly would have been the second really big red flag for me. Be the best man and partner and housemate you can be and hope she stays. That’s literally all you can do.
Got dam dude.
That is a holy grail level of fuck up.
Completely understandable if that’s it for you two.
Couples counselling, and lots of it.
Tell her the truth and if she can’t understand, that’s nothing you can do but keep on living. Tell her that you weren’t thinking of her feelings and you’re sorry but your own emotions are so intense on the thought of losing my child that it’s too hard to talk about. What if i did that to you with our daughter and you were in my shoes. It’s not an easy concept to deal with so I’m sorry i didn’t handle good. I’m so sorry about your kid & the fact your new kid won’t know em and it’s heartbreaking. Lots of love, friend.