Ok. So I (24M) have had a foot fetish my whole life. I love women’s feet. Particular things I like about women’s feet are soles, toes, well groomed toenails, toe wiggling, and toe snapping (the big toe and second toe push against each other while wiggling). I have a lot of questions to ask about this:
1. How do I confess my foot fetish?
2. How do I say what I like about women’s feet?
3. How soon into the relationship should I say that I like feet?
4. How can I ask my partner to do things that I like about feet with her feet?
5. How often should feet be a part of our sex life?
3 comments
Maybe just start by offering a foot massage. Tell her during that she has nice feet. Make it a gradual thing like you would most other things.
Or go the opposite route and just say it outright. And see how comfortable she is with whatever you wanted to do.
How quick in a relationship depends on how big of a kink this is for you. If it’s paramount to your sex life, lean on bringing it up earlier rather than later. I would think kinks would be brought up after some sexual experience with each other. If the relationship is purely hookups, then should be ok to bring forward sooner. You need to find out for yourself how important this kink is and should be in your life.
I wouldn’t do anything with her feet before telling her since, if she’s not down, might feel a bit apprehensive about the contact you made with them before bringing it up. Best to tell her during intimate conversation where you are bringing up sex and kinky stuff.
If she is down, introduce it slowly, don’t go to the ultra kinky foot stuff first, maybe delicate and sensual exploration of her lower body.
I don’t have this fetish but giving similar advice as I would other practical kinks that aren’t normally accepted on average.
Foot fetishes aren’t really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Practically speaking it’s about the least noteworthy sexual deviation one can have. Something like 1/7 guys like feet, it you asked your friends you would likely find at least one or two that like feet too. But, I digress.
If you’re the type of person to take a relationship slowly and get to know each other before you make sexual contact, this is easy peasy since she will already know you as a person. It would be more difficult if you’re the kind of person who has sex on the first date, where all she knows about you is dinner conversation + foot fetish.
When things start getting physical and exploring each others’ bodies, basically just go for it and play with her feet, just like you would explore any other part of her body. Good time to do this is while eating her pussy, while you’re already down there kissing her thighs and when you’re both all hot and “in the moment.” Just kiss the soles of her feet like you’d kiss any other part of her body. If you’re a gigachad and she’s sufficiently aroused (like if you’re fingering her at the same time and she’s close) you can just straight up suck her toes right away, it’s up to your judgement how quickly or obviously you’re going to introduce it.
Either way, the point is that you kinda just have to own it and go for it. If you “confess” it and call it a “foot fetish” you’re allowing her mind to run with a million possibilities and preconceived notions of what that means. Making a big deal out of it makes it sound like it’s something she *should* be concerned about. If you just mention it like it’s no big deal, you put her mind at ease. And if you just go for it, she won’t have time to worry about it at all since she’ll just experience what it entails immediately (or she may push you away if it tickles or she doesn’t like it, but at least she’s seen it before which makes talking about it easier).
And the other point answers question 4 and 5, which is that, don’t let it dominate your sex. Feet stuff is probably not going to do anything for her, beyond her enjoying turning you on, so you need to work it into something she *does* enjoy. Sucking toes while down there fingering her or with her feet in your face during missionary, etc. and sensually involving them while you touch other parts of her body, are the sort of things you want to do. You can ask her to give you special feet play sometimes just like you can ask her to give you a blowjob or anything like that, just make sure it’s not one sided, and you’re reciprocating by pleasing her.
So to summarize that wall of text:
* Introduce it early, after she knows you well as a person but soon after you start having serious sexual contact
* Work it into sex as a sensual thing, or as an occasional treat for her to give you. Don’t let her be bored while you jerk off to her feet by yourself.
* If you’re going to “confess”, confess it casually and confidently, like it’s not a big deal (because it’s not). Say you “like feet” or that her feet are sexy, I would avoid the phrase “foot fetish” and all its connotations
* Or, just go for it, and simply show her what it entails (starting out gently).
Whether you mention it first or not is up to you, you’ll have to feel it out based on how you guys’ dynamic is. I realize you’ve received 3 different answers here (“tell her first,” “ease into it surreptitiously,” “just go for it”) and the reality is that which one you pick depends on you guys’ personalities and also just what sort of moment you find right to introduce it or mention it.