Hi, my partener doesnt really consider watching/listening/reading to anything I recommend(usually smth I enjoyed; and its not even that far off from the things she usually likes, we have a similar taste) and seem kinda uninterested in the first place but if her friends were to recommend the same exact thing she’d suddenly take an interest in it and actually start watching/reading it. It kinda hurts my feelings sometimes and it seems like she doesnt care. Is this normal or am I looking too much into it?
tl;dr- partener ignores my interests.
6 comments
No, that’s bad if her friends recommend something she jumps at the chance and just ignored your same ask.
It’s not normal, and it’s not fair to you. Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling and said something like, “Hey, I recommended *show* to you and you didn’t seem interested, but when *friend* recommended the same show, you jumped at the chance to watch it. What’s up with that?”
I do know plenty of healthy couples that simply don’t share much overlap in the media they consume and it works totally fine for them–they have accepted this presumably so there’s no hurt feeling over recommendations not taken up because they simply aren’t making those recommendations to each other. One of my best mates and his wife joke about this quite regularly. Me personally, sure I like some of what my SO likes/recommends and vice versa, but frankly some of my friends are just closer to my subjective preferences than my SO, and I know her and her friends talk about stuff to recommend to each other all the time without me in the loop. To a certain degree this is what friends are for–you can’t and shouldn’t expect to get EVERYTHING from your SO.
All that said, I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive to be hurt by your girlfriend brushing you off. I’d ask your girlfriend about it and see what she says. Maybe you’re perspective that your tastes are “not that far off” from the things she usually likes isn’t one she shares. Maybe something else. But at the very least you both should be able to communicate about this kinda stuff in a way that isn’t hurtful.
Bro she doesn’t have to like the same things u like.
Does she like you and does she treat you good. That’s it.
What level of involvement do you want? My boyfriend and I are interested in different things with a couple of mutual hobbies (hiking, strength training and camping). His personal interest are politics, guns and survival tactics. I’m not particularly interested in any of those. I still make the effort to stay updated on the topics. I follow the IG accounts that he recommends and generally check on the news stories he reads. I know his gun names and ammo types. I go shooting with him occasionally but don’t jump on every opportunity. I won’t be interested in owning my own gun or void card. I’m not going to ask him to go ammo shopping together. And I won’t send him links to new fire starters. He seems cool with that. I believe she needs to have some level of engagement with your personal interests for you to feel seen in your relationship. It’s up to you two to decide what feels right for your relationship. Good luck!
I think this is pretty common.
My partner and I have some similarities. And some differences. She’s not necessarily interested in some of my favorite things. But she doesn’t prevent me from enjoying them. And having the freedom to do them by myself is nice.