Me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for over year. There’s always been issues from my perspective, like creating petty arguments or getting mad when I tried to do stuff without him or when the smallest thing would set him off because I was inconveniencing him. We’ve recently been going through a rough patch of me doing about everything around the house and paying for almost everything but when I bring it up “Oh so I don’t do anything”, he said he’s been depressed and stressed about money and that’s why he didn’t get me anything for Christmas or anything for our one year. When I picked up extra shifts to get him at least a card for Christmas and make him cute little love notes by hand for him for our one year and I’ve been depressed as well and when I was having a terrible day and could barely get out of bed he calls me “Lazy”. 1 week later I went through his phone and found a screen recording of pics of a girl spreading her cheeks on reddit and a screenshot of him looking up “Hannah Rylee exposed pics”. I found them at 3 am, I kept quite and sent them to myself so when I went to work that would be the first thing he sees when texting me. I went to work and texted him to explain this, I am almost always naked around him like we live together why would he need to specifically look two different girls up, and that if it was just porn it would’ve been so different. He ends up saying him and sister used to watch the girl on TikTok and someone commented her pics got leaked and how he takes full responsibility and immediately says he loves me forever and always and its always been and is always going to be me and then within a couple days he tells me to “Shut the fuck up” when I told him I was bored and didn’t want to keep on laying in bed and then when I forgot my phone at home in the taco bell drive thru so I couldn’t pay I was “pissing him off”. Its been a week and a half and I went through his phone again, I know I shouldn’t have, and now I see he clicked some ones only fans, so I took a screenshot and sent it to me again, he responds and says I don’t trust him and that why would he be looking that up and how he has no money to be doing that. I’m in the grocery store while this is happening and I can’t deal with all his negative word vomit so I tell him to separate our stuff. I barely talked to him when I got home because I wasn’t dealing with it anymore, after I found the screenshots in his phone I let him know I’m tired of doing everything, I want some help and I need some effort from him at least calling me pretty more often, and its been about a week since this and its happening all over again. I literally told him I need help I can’t keep doing everything, I go to take a shower after him, the shower curtain that he’s been complaining needs to get changed with the replacement on the counter but what does he do, draw hearts out of my hair on the shower wall. I just don’t know what to do, I cried multiple times while we talked about what needs to happen and how I feel like my feelings aren’t being heard when I all need is the bare minimum and all he could say back is if he does put the effort it’s never going to be enough for me, so I told him I need some space to think stuff out and he follows me and continues saying hurtful things and saying he’s going to try more, so I said I need to see you try and until then I need space. It’s been 4 days and he keeps on trying to have sex, I want to so bad but I just don’t feel ready and he’ll make sure I can feel that he’s in the mood. I love him so much, he’s my best friend and I’ve always said we can always talk stuff out no matter what but I don’t feel that way. I don’t get why I need to explain to the person who’s supposed to love me the most and always be there for me how I need to be heard, how I want to be put first and I don’t think he’s ready for that. What breaks my heart is I know there’s going to be a next and he’ll treat her so much better no help needed, he’ll just do it.