I want this all to end

So for some context I’m a 16 yo Male and my girlfriend is also 16 Female of course. I know we are a quite young but lets pretend that we aren’t for this situation. We’ve been dating for about 4 months now and it’s both ours first relationship. My girlfriend is a shy and somewhat awkward girl but she is willing to try different things like playing games and stuff like that.

So she left for vacation just yesterday but 2 days prior, we were joking about some things like we usually do over text and she say “I know you’re a jealous person.”, to which I say, “Who could I possible be jealous of.”, she says a guys name, lets call him Steve. Now Steve had a crush on my girlfriend for quite a while I’d bet. They met back in Grade 5 while I had only met my girlfriend about a month prior to this (we clicked quite well so we started dating if you were curious). So pretty much Steve makes my gf uncomfortable, he danced with her right in front of me, he wiped her tears as well and she overall is quite kind to him. To be fair, she always had a soft spot for friends and was very vulnerable towards them. But even I knew this was going quite far. During that convo, she apologized multiple times but I sat there thinking, “Wow, so she knew all of this would hurt me and she went through with all of it?”. I didn’t talk to her again till the next day in school where I saw her, I noticed her eyes were red. We sat down and she passed me her sketchbook (she’s an artist) and it was a drawn picture of herself apologizing while she sat next to me with her head down. She wrote about how she never thought of Steve as a partner in any way and she knew her future was with me. And I tapped her shoulder to realize she had been crying and her eyes were some how even more so red. She couldn’t sleep last night.

I felt so bad. I ruined her sleep, her already broken mental health. She wanted to kill herself because of a lot of things. Parents were a big one. Her mother told her to kill herself. I still haven’t asked about the context because I’m sure it was very tough for her. But now she has a good relationship with her parents. She told me that the only reason she didn’t wanna kill herself anymore was because of me. I couldn’t believe it. My jealousy and envy had almost ruined her even more so. And I only thought of myself. I don’t think I deserve her. I don’t care what I’ve done for her because I had wished she had found what she found in me, inside of someone else. I truly wish I could die right now.

To be honest I came here looking for an answer but I think I’m just venting at this point. I truly care for my gf and I wish the best for her but I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Once we go to University, what if she meets another Steve and I’m not there? What would she do? I’m too attached to her but I have trust issues because of my parents and old “friends”. I don’t know what to do. Die or break up or stay together and get through this? Honestly for me there’s no good answer here but if you guys have suggestions please feel free to let me know, I’m open to any options.

To tie up some loose ends, my parents don’t approve of this relationship but only because her culture is different than mine (our cultures are very closely related however). Her parents approve but they are worried I’d have to leave her because of my parents (I won’t of course). She wants to get married to me as well, she has thought of places to go for our honeymoon too which I found quite cute but sad too. My gf is also a very nice and kind person, the type to never hurt a fly unless that fly bothers someone she cares about.

So to end it off, what do you guys suggest I do here, my problem is that I can’t trust her and I don’t know if this will work out or if I should just end it here and let her recover early on. I’m scared she might feel alone and sad and suicidal again. The reason she couldn’t let Steve and theirs friendship die was because she wasn’t fond of the idea of pushing away any old friends.

Thank you for reading. Hope you all have a great life with as little problems as possible.

TL;DR

My gf kind of cared for another dude while we were dating but only because she cared about their friendship and she didn’t want to act like she didn’t care about him at all. It hurt me and she knew and made a joke about it. The next day she apologized every chance she could and I forgave her. I don’t know if this is a relationship I should go through with or break up right now to avoid the harm later on. What should I do in this situation?