We are high school sweethearts. Have only ever been with one another. Over our 15yr relationship and 2 kids, our sex life has definitely had it’s ups and downs.
I am more sexually open to where he is pretty vanilla. I stuggled a lot in my late 20s with low libido. So for a while we had sex maybe once to twice a month. Even going up to 3 months without.
Fast forward to now. At 32 and not worrying about having anymore kids (tubes are tied). I am coming back into a high libido. Our sex life has definitely picked up. He just doesn’t have a super high libido so he is not constantly on me to have sex. We generally initiate equally.
I am craving for him to be more dominant and take charge. I want more aggressive sex and too explore kinks. He isn’t completely opposed to it and we talk about it but I feel he is nervous to take charge. I share my fantasies and kinks to try. He does not judge and does take into account turn on’s but he “doesn’t have fantasies or kinks”. To him as long as we are having sex and I orgasm he is happy.
How can I encourage him to explore more or do I just have to accept he may just not be the dominant type?
2 comments
Have you tried websites like quiv.re?? They allow you to take a quiz that can be pretty in depth and then you share it with one another and you can see what you agree on and nothing that you don’t have in common (if you choose to share it that way). If he’s “nervous” to initiate some things then you could always initiate. “Tonight I want you to put your hand on my neck and ….” Do that. If that doesn’t work then I don’t know what to tell you. Just be sure to tell him that you’ll let him know if you’re uncomfortable or if you don’t like it and it’s okay for him to tell you the same but you’ve got to talk and give directions during. Just talking before is no bueno. Especially when it’s new territory.
He needs to get his hormones tested. Start there. Seriously.