my bf cheated on me and i am embarrassed

me (f18) and my now ex (m18) cheated on me. i first found out abt this when this girl dmed me saying that he cheated and i was completely in shock as i would’ve never believed he would do such a thing. i wasn’t rly one sided at first so i asked her for a lotta proof, and when i asked him abt all the pictures and screenshots, he convinced me where to it was edited and that the girl was crazy (she looked kinda crazy tbh but no hate to her). so i believed him and slowly started to trust bc i thought he did nothing rly that wrong.

last night he calls me at 3 am sounding very stressed and basically j begs me if he can come to my house to tell me soemthing bc that’s what he morally has to do face to face. he then confessed that he cheated on me. this was a month and a half after the girl sent me all of the proof, and he had lied abt it the whole time. i made him tell me every single detail and turns out this whole relationship he was talking to another girl off and on and then kept it a secret. he said bc of his withdrawals from weed he caught himself in a lie and couldn’t think properly which obv i do not think is an excuse.

i am embarrassed to tell any of my friends and family that my ex cheated on me. firstly because he was my very first bf who i lost everything to morally so i feel my emotion still connected. i have told my friends i’m waiting for the right person for my whole life and won’t date till i know someone is trust worthy, but then to say the guy i thought was that cheated feels embarassing for me. ik nothing was my fault and i should feel like that, but it’s kind of j like the person i’ve been talking to everyday and been with and been very intimate and close to for the very first time is j all fake and gone. i’m currently j like why did this happen to me, why would he do this to me, why just why. like i get he’s some guy that wasn’t worth my time but how can u even do that to someone? any advice for me?