My partner (F26) and I (M25) have been together for over 4 years. When we first started dating we had quite and active sex life having sex 2-3 times per week. We had great sexual chemistry and would both get a lot of enjoyment out of it.
About a year into our relationship, she started intensive therapy to work through some trauma she had experienced as a teenager and child. Working through this truama gave her a diagnosis of cPTSD which caused her to have constant flashbacks of these horrible events and in turn resulted in our sex life diminishing. It slowly started to be less and less as time went on and would only be possible for us to have sex if we were drunk or on MDMA as her thoughts wouldn’t take a hold of her when she’s under the influence.
3 years later, she has been going to therapy and has been put on some antidepressants and other things to help with her anxiety, flashbacks and nightmares. She has been great mentally and I am so happy for her to be able to live normally after what she has been through. Currently in our relationship we would have sex every now and then (bi-monthly possibly even longer).
We have great communication and have talked about the lack of sex we have and she is currently in a better headspace where we can have sex however, this issue is that since experiencing this, she has a very low libidio now. She wants to enjoy having sex with me but never seems to be in the mood. The other problem, I feel due to experiencing rejection for the past 3 years whenever I would initiate, I have lost my touch to be able to do so. She also has lost her ability to initiate.
So my question here… How do those of you who have experienced similar, find your sex drive, how can you help with low libidio, and how can my partner and I work on initiating with each other as we have both lost the sexual chemistry we both once had.
Something that I feel has currently been putting her off is the last few times we had sex, the size of my penis hurt her as we don’t do it often.
Any help is appreciated, thank you!
1 comment
There are a lot of things that can effect sexual compatibility. Past trauma can be one. Some women are not into larger guys which can also be difficult. In the end, if you’re both motivated to stay together you can usually find a solution. Her doctor would know better if changing her meds would help. Speaking from experience, therapy is a better solution but takes time. Best of luck.