I can’t get my ex out of my mind
(Both 21) It was a very nice and rich relationship, we ended it definitively 1y ago but we were motivated to stay close friends
I asked her to not contact me unless extreme necessity until i turned the page. She was in my city this summer and even tho she was really eager to see me, she choose to respect my decision and not tell me about. Recently i finally call her back and we were both enthousiastic to meet again (it will be exactly 1y since our breakup).
She was a bit anxious that meeting will spark me again and i told her i was okay to take the risk, thinking i wouldn’t fall again.
But i found out i’m still not over it and i have no idea what to do.
Should i cancel and tell her goodbye forever ? Go, spend the day like nothing and tell her afterward/ during it ?
I want to get in love with someone else but i got hard time meeting ppl in 2022 and she was such a close friend of mine, i’m scared of telling her goodbye forever …
Tldr : I told my ex I forgot about her and I was fine meeting her but I’didn’t. What should I do ?
2 comments
Unless you have any intentions of getting back with her, just tell her the truth and don’t see her. In my experience being friends with your exes is never a good idea unless there’re children involved. I recommend you erase her from social media and stop contact entirely for about 2 months at least. Join a new club, try new activities that involve seeing people, learn a new language, do an exchange program, occupy your mind with exciting challenges and soon she’ll be gone from your thoughts.
Hey, I see you are having a lot of feelings and your mind is creating a lot of different ideas.
First, I would remind you to always keep your focus on your physical and mental health. Keep contact with your support group (friends, family, your community) and maintain open communication with them, this is always important.
Second, if you are having anxious feelings about the past and blablabla, this is a kind of tricky territory.
On one hand, you could be receiving a warning from your body saying that this is not going to work. I know this because I have been through something similar and I guarantee you that feeling hurt or afraid constantly should not be part of a relationship.
On another hand, I am not the owner of the future, I am not a fortune teller so I can’t tell you what would happen.
I would suggest to focus on you, continue focused on your goals, health, making money, your loved ones and let time show you the best possibility. If feelings of anxiety and feelings of sadness are making you not live your life in a positive way, it would be wise to open up with your peers and seek medical professional help (we are in 2023, we have excellent therapists and excellent medication, and they work!)
Does this seem fair?