Ok, so I (19f) masturbate quite regularly and have for years now. Once I “unlocked” the ability to make myself orgasm with just my fingers I have never had any trouble getting there, usually multiple times and as quickly or slowly as I want it to happen.
I’ve been quite happy and satisfied with the method I use, but recently I’ve begun to be intimate with someone for the first time, and this made me realize how many different sensations I can have. Fingering myself has never been pleasurable for me, so I was shocked when someone else’s fingers/penis/mouth were able to make me experience things I’ve never felt before. I feel like there are so many different types of orgasms that I’ve been able to reach with a partner that I’ve never been able to reach by myself.
So I’ve been thinking about whether or not I should buy a vibrator or other type of sex toy. My two big fears are 1) I will lose the ability to make myself or be satisfied with clitoral orgasms done by hand. 2) It will ruin the “specialness” of sex for me. I am not in a serious relationship with the person I am sleeping with so I am not gaining emotional fulfillment from it, I have been however having a really special and amazing sexual awakening with this person and I’m worried that if I start masturbating with a toy it will make my sexual relationship less fulfilling and satisfying.
Are these fears justified, is there something I need to do to avoid them? Because I am curious about toys (even tho I feel like they aren’t really “for” me because I’ve always been able to achieve good orgasms on my own)
5 comments
You’ll probably get different opinions on this. In my opinion, there’s nothing like the real thing, baby.
Yes. Always. Explore. Have fun! I would have never realized all the different kinds of sensations and orgasms I could have if I just stuck with actual body parts only.
Great sex is generally great because of the emotional connection (and how well your bodies fit together/are proportioned together).
A toy will never replace that kind of intimacy.
Though if you have that kind of intimacy AND you add a toy—-guuurrrlll….get ready to do some laundry because your sheets will see some things. 🔥
If you want to . It’s your body your call. I recommend doing so. Tip; don’t go cheap. You will end up buying ten and costing more than a pricier one.
As long as you don’t start using a mechanical toy exclusively and maintain your ability to enjoy masturbating without mechanical toys or sex with a partner without mechanical toys it should just be another sensation and enjoying your sexuality to its fullest.
If you use a mechanical toy exclusively, after years of it you may find you’ve lost the ability to enjoy what you could before. If you keep up practice with the other methods you want or enjoy, you should have no issues.
You may find a toy pleasureable and have fun with it. Go with what you think you will want, either a vibrator (goes inside, vibrates, or a dildo, no vibration, or clitoral vibe) and enjoy it.
One of the things you have already noticed is the difference when someone else is pleasing you vs you doing it yourself. The mind plays a very large part in sex. Just because you enjoy a toy or two will not take anything away from enjoying meaningful sex with a partner.
An example. My wife enjoys me and can orgasm at times from penetration. She also enjoys her large dildo and will orgasm from it, especially if I am the one using it on her. I know the dildo will not replace me, even if it makes her orgasm more consistently. The human or physical connection is much better than the one with a toy. I have had sex with her immediately after using the large dildo. She still moans and loves my penis inside of her even though it is smaller than her dildo.
Try some toys, you will still have fun with a FWB or SO when the time comes.